trying to be happy

I was in Wally World a couple of nights ago. Yes, the whole raison d'etre of this blog originally was to protest WM's corporatization of America. Well that was then, and this is now. I was far to emotionally and financially stretched that night to wander around at five different stores looking for the handful of items I needed. And I was in no mood to deal with what passes as driving skills in the commercial areas of our town. No indeed.

Anyway, I was in the grocery section and ran into a woman I know only casually--I've talked to her at several events I've been to recently. Honestly, I don't even know her name, but we recognize each other. I greeted her with "How are you?" and her response was, "Trying to find a reason to be happy." I laughed, because she said it in a sarcastic sort of way, but my retort back to her was to tell her how damn grumpy I felt just walking into the store, and that I had realized as I walked through the parking lot that I must look like hell on wheels, because I didn't want to be there, but it was the most efficient place to go to get the things I needed. The woman, and her husband, both laughed at this and said that just walking INTO WM can make the happiest of people grumpy.

But I knew the point of our conversation wasn't WM -- although it is a miserable place on a Saturday night in mid-December. The point was unspoken. The point was that we were both fed up with the holidays. There is so much emphasis each year on making a perfect holiday for your family. To have the perfectly decorated tree, and most welcoming house in the neighborhood. To find the perfect gift for your children's schoolteacher, piano teacher, and dance teacher. To attend all the holiday events at your children's school, and after-school activities...and yet still have time to wrap your presents in a way that implies creativity and a great deal of thoughtfulness. Those of us who cannot wrangle a length of 1 1/2" wired ribbon into the perfect huge bow for our presents are clearly not trying hard enough, and if you resort to using pre-made bows, well, you don't care WHAT people think, do you?

Now on top of all this you are supposed to have a stocked refrigerator and pantry in the event that friends stop by for holiday cheer. Great idea, but no one does that anymore because everyone is too damn busy out buying food to stock their pantries for unexpected guests and wrestling with wired ribbon to have time to just casually drop by a friend's house.

So yes, I am grumpy, and I am just looking for a reason to try to be happy. It is hard to see the forest for the pine trees this time of year, and even though I am so unbelievably blessed with family, friends, and just having food on the table (remember that overstocked pantry?) I am constantly reminded that I'm not measuring up.
Gifts purchased? Mostly.
Gifts wrapped? No.
Gifts wrapped with beautiful bows or creative and elegant touches? Not even.
Cookies made? Yes, but everyone I know other than my children are on diets, so why did I make these things?
Tree decorated? It's a work in progress.
Carols sung?
Bells on bobtail rung?
Snow dashed through?
Halls decked?
Is my holly jolly?
And lastly, have I had myself a merry little Christmas now? No.

With three days to go I'm officially signing off of the holiday merry-go-round. I've ignored my children trying to make a perfect Christmas for them. I've gotten mad that they were out of school this week for an ice storm because it put me three days behind in my preparations, rather than relishing the extra time with them that I crave so much. I have been pissed off at the world, and literally trying to find a reason to be happy in a W.M. on a Saturday night. And apparently I'm not the only one, if my friend is any measure.

There is a reason we celebrate Christmas, and short of talk show hosts arguing over whether we should say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" in the advertising for big box stores, the point of the holiday is just missing now. We can't love one another with presents. We can't buy happiness...not even at a W.M. Supercenter.

So starting tomorrow night I'm going to read the real Christmas story to my children. Not the ones with Dasher and Dancer, not the one with the huge freakish snowman, and glowing reindeer noses. Not the one with a Grinch. I'll read them the one about love, and the greatest gift of all. And that's where I'll find happiness.

icy fun before breakfast

Nothin' says hillbilly like running out in your pajamas to go sledding on thin ice.

a winter's day

Grandpa Ed clearing the sidewalk after a beautiful Ozarks snowstorm. The photo is marked with the caption "Taken Jan. 8, 1944, at 4 o'clock."

Requiem for a magazine

At the end of this month the magazine that I helped start 18 years ago will cease publication. It has been a slow death--the magazine has been on life support for months as the publisher tried to transition from a print and web-based publication, to web only.

I helped create this magazine in my Rolla, Missouri days when my friend Wayne decided to continue to publish a newsletter to the fans of his public radio bluegrass program. The local public radio affiliate had decided that they didn't want the expense of sending out a monthly newsletter to the faithful listeners of "Bluegrass for a Saturday Night," so Wayne took the mailing list, and on his own dime began publishing a newsletter. At first it was just that...a locally-driven eight-page newsletter about upcoming concerts and festivals, with a "top 20" list of most requested songs from his show, and a couple of brief articles about bluegrass artists. I did the layout for free for him because I was using a university-owned computer and didn't feel right about charging him for a couple hours of my time every month.

Soon though, Wayne realized there was a market out there for 'grassers who wanted news in a magazine format. So a magazine was born. It took a while to get traction, but as it did it became more and more fun to design. Even though bluegrass music has a very specific fan base--and a lot of people react with actual revulsion at the thought of having to listen to a bluegrass song--it was something I personally enjoyed, so getting to read the articles, and design around some of the artists I had heard was a nice diversion for me to other design work I was doing at the time.

A few short years after we kicked it off, we had a simple monthly magazine with an average of 48 pages, a color cover, and a partial color layout inside. And the feedback we were getting from the 'grass world was positive. At the time there was only one other major publication devoted to bluegrass music, and it had stagnated in its design...locked into a grid they had designed in the early 80s and hadn't veered off of since. Fans began to notice that our magazine had a newer look...a fresher approach. We began to feel our oats about where this could go.

In the next few years both Wayne and I went through divorces from our first spouses, married new spouses, and I moved away from Rolla, so the production of the magazine became a long-distance project. But as email and the internet had become something you could have in your home, and not just in a university or corporate setting, and with the help of FedEx, we made it work. As time went by, and web speed became much faster we were eventually able to even drop the FedEx part of it and do the entire thing entirely by email and internet. At one point Wayne and his new bride, Deb, who also was heavily involved in the magazine, got the idea to produce a magazine-sponsored awards show in Nashville. We only had one, but that one was a blast. We had it at the Ryman, and some of the top names in bluegrass, including Ricky Skaggs, were there.

The magazine continued to improve from a design standpoint, with more advertising revenue making it possible to do more color sections, and the overall product was much improved from our early days. We heard rumors that the other 'grass magazine was trying to copy our format to keep up with us.

But the very thing that made our long-distance production possible was also the thing that ultimately contributed to the demise of the magazine...the internet. As more and more people began using the internet it became possible to access the same information our subscribers were getting in each issue--information about festivals, new CD releases, etc--with just a few clicks on the computer. Also, each band now has their own website, and each record company has plenty of information about their star performers, including concert schedules, upcoming releases, and biographical background to satisfy the heartiest of bluegrass fans. And, as napster and itunes became common ways to download music, record companies had to revise how they advertised their products and artists, and that ultimately altered the ad revenue our magazine could count on.

And the last year of economic downturn was the final blow. If there were an autopsy performed it would indicate that the magazine died from a poor economy, and a changing world of publishing. The high cost of paper (printing paper); a reduction of advertising budget for many festivals, string and instrument companies, and the blossoming of the downloaded music industry all were part of the demise. In spite of the hundreds of specialty magazines you see on shelves at bookstores and newsstands, it is hard to get a magazine started, and maintain it's subscription base. Advertisers want to see how many people are actually reading a publication before they commit ad dollars to it, and if you can't maintain a high enough subscription base you can't get ads. In a poor economy it is especially difficult to get that ad revenue.

There was a brief attempt at resurrecting the magazine as an "e-zine" online, but because none of us actually knew much about production in the virtual world (we are all old printing press veterans) our enthusiasm for it dwindled.

But I am proud that we made it what it was, and kept it going for as long as we did. We published this thing through divorce, marriage, the births of my children, and their grandchildren, through a parade of associate writers and editors, and through the good graces of the bluegrass community.

Of Pilgrims, Christopher Columbus, and minerals

I never realized that having kids would cause me to re-learn everything I THOUGHT I knew from my own elementary school education. Now that T1 and T2 are moving into specific areas of study like science, social studies, and more complicated math than basic addition and subtraction, I am finding that I'm learning along with them.

I have been helping in their classrooms two mornings a week...one morning in each classroom. Turns out there is a universal School Scent. Every school I've ever been in smells the same. It still smells like the school I went to when I was a child. It has a strong undercurrent of cleaning supplies (which, when ordered from a catalog must say "School Smell Cleaning Supplies), a chalkiness, or maybe essence of crayons, a hint of wet construction paper, and just the most subtle nuance of pee...like someone in the room didn't quite aim accurately when they went to the bathroom and got some on their shoes or something.

But the amazing thing I am finding is how much more information they have about the subjects they are learning. T2 has in his classroom a big book about Christopher Columbus, and it has details in it I never learned as a child. Both of them are learning about the Pilgrims at a much, much more realistic level than I ever learned in the happy, fun way it was presented back in the days when I made construction paper turkeys. They are learning the true story about how these people nearly all starved, and entire families were wiped out while they tried to make it through their first few years. They are also learning about how the Native Americans were also nearly destroyed by all the new diseases the Pilgrims (and others) brought with them. And T1's class has also been learning about rocks and minerals in her science unit. She is now rattling off facts about what the earth is made of and how different rocks are made that I'm pretty sure I didn't know until high school.

The Reenactor and I have both discovered that the way T1 is learning to add two columns of numbers is very, very different than the way we both learned it. The language involved is different. You no longer "carry" a digit from the first column to the second. They are being taught to "re-group." I can tell that I'm going to be in over my head in helping them with math sooner rather than later.

The fun part of this is that subjects that I normally wouldn't bother to read or study are in front of me now, and I'm re-learning too! I can maybe take a mid-life GED one of these days and see if I pass!

So campers, what "true fact" did YOU learn in elementary school that you now know is complete nonsense? Or what did you learn that still sticks with you today as a tool you use often?

Oh, and one more note...if you ever think that teachers are overpaid, just spend two hours in a classroom. I truly don't know how they aren't all stark, raving mad at the end of the day.

Election Day, 2008

Notes from Nov. 4, 2008

1) I was filled with a sense of calm, and amazement after I pressed Obama's name on my voting machine. Just this sense that I had made a contribution to history.

2) The Reenactor and I were so disappointed that The Commonwealth was the first state officially called in favor of McCain. However, given the political and cultural climate of this area, it was no surprise.

3) I couldn't sit still for the first three hours of the evening. I flitted around the house in nervous spasms of attempting to clean and put things away, obsessively checking the current tallies on the computer, and watching anything BUT the results on tv. We even watched a special "presidential" edition of Dirty Jobs. The Daily Show was our election coverage up until the time that the election was called. Just because I was feeling especially goofy, I checked out Faux News momentarily. Long enough to see Karl Rove trying to logically explain why everything he has done in the last decade has been nothing short of disasterous (well...not what he was really talking about, but I was wishing it was).

4) The kids wanted to stay up until it was "over" which of course we had no idea how long that would take. We let them both lay down with pillows and blankets, and they cratered just minutes before the election was called. We tried to wake them up to watch O's acceptance speech, but they both whined and went back to sleep. I'm going to have them watch it on the internet tonight.

5) Champagne that we have been saving to celebrate the sale of our house was instead popped open to sip while McCain conceded, and during Obama's magnificent acceptance speech.

6) I probably should have put this first, but it is a stream-of-consciousness thing so bear with me. I want to put this in writing for the virtual family campfire that is my blog (and for those of my friends who humor me by reading it as well)....

My sister Alice, and her husband John have spent hours, and hours, and hours, and hours volunteering for Obama's campaign in Ohio. They have knocked on doors, made calls, canvassed, done grunt work like picking up signs to place in their county, and I don't even know what all...

Today, they are my heroes. They are two of the legions of people who made this change possible. I hope they take a well-deserved vacation or rest now, and bask in the glow of the triumph they were so much a part of.

7) I know the world isn't going to change immediately, but for the first time in eight years, I have hope again. I remembered last night how we took T1 to the polls to vote with us when she was just 2 weeks old in 2000, and how optimistic I was that evening. I remember the feeling of dread that I had as I was up with her over that night giving her feedings and watching the fate of our nation change by the minute, and by the suspect votes of a few counties in Florida. I still believe that election was stolen, and that our world would be very different if Gore had won. So to go from that to having her curled up next to me cheering every time a state went "blue" last night was a bit of compensation for the feeling of helplessness in the last few years.

8) The power of one vote is just amazing. My homestate of Missouri was called with just something like 4000 votes difference. The senate race in Minnesota is at this moment divided by just 400 votes. The mayoral race in my town, which I think everyone assumed was a shoo-in for the incumbent, is only 50 votes different. Your vote matters, it really does.

9) I hope that this election begins a trend of eliminating the use of smear and negative campaign ads and emails, as it is very clear they didn't work this time. Case in point, the Senate race in N.C. Elizabeth Dole lost her bid for re-election in large part because of an ad she ran and approved saying that her opponent didn't believe in God. Even for the hardiest of evangelicals in her state it was a slap too many.

10) I wonder what Joe the Plumber is doing today? Maybe his job for a change? Unclogging a sewer line or something? I hope we don't hear of him again.

That's all for now. I'm happy. I feel like I'm represented again (although not at a local level).

Yes, we can!

Election Day, 1980

I remember quite clearly my first opportunity to vote in a presidential election. I was a student at Drury, and after my morning classes I drove to my hometown, 20 miles away, so I could vote in the courthouse there. After voting--which seemed like a surreal experience to me--the poll worker gave me a "I voted" sticker. I drove back to Springfield and since I had missed lunch in the Commons I went to the CX--the on-campus dining spot with the best chicken noodle soup I've ever eaten anywhere.

So I'm sitting there at a table, eating my lunch, probably reviewing some book for an afternoon class, and a man sitting at the next table says to me, "I see you voted." "Yes," I replied proudly. "Who did you vote for?" he asked. "Carter." I replied again.

His face turned beet red, and looked at me with great disgust and said, "Well THAT was the stupidest thing you could have done." He turned away from me and sat over his food shaking his head.

I was absolutely shattered by this comment. I was majoring in political science and felt like I had really educated myself on the issues that were important to me, and the viewpoints of both Reagan and Carter. Carter was way more in line with my way of thinking, especially on environmental issues, which were extremely important to me (and still are). This was the first time I had ever voted, and I had no idea that someone--a total stranger yet--would be so offended by my choice.

It was also the first time I experienced the idea that someone could completely dismiss my choice as "stupid" without taking the time to ask WHY I had chosen Carter that day.

This encounter has stayed with me lo these many years. It is one of the reasons I am passionate about politics. I still am, even though my poli sci degree is definitely gathering dust. I am passionate about the process, and the way people choose their candidate. I am also passionate about the idea that people DON'T vote. I can't imagine why you wouldn't. I was explaining to T1 and T2 last night that it has only been over 100 years or so that women could vote. They were aghast at that idea. I also explained to them that in many countries women can't vote, can't own property, can't make any legal decisions for themselves. Again, they were aghast.

The disgust in this man's face when I said "Carter" has also stayed with me. It is the reason that if you email me some slanderous crap about my candidate, I'm right back on ya with MY viewpoint, and hopefully a fact-checked version of events.

So tomorrow if you want to vote for the GOP candidates, by all means go ahead and do it. And thank God you live in a country where you HAVE THAT RIGHT. I will be voting for Obama. (I haven't made that plain in this blog, have I?) And God help anyone I encounter who treats me with disgust over MY choice, MY vote. It is the one thing I CAN do to change this mess we're in. I'm not a young college student, scared to defend my choice to a stranger anymore.

pumpkin

Here's The Reenactor's jack-o-lantern.

reason enough

Here's an essay T2 brought home from school. Sums it up pretty well.

from the mouths of babes

We visited T1 and T2's school this afternoon for parent/teacher conferences. On the wall outside T2's class were political posters made by the kids in his class. Sadly, T2's choice to support the junior senator from Illinois was pretty much drowned out by all the McSame posters. Only three posters supported the big "O." Anyway, I'm proud to note that T2's poster said, in big letters "Obama" followed by "stop the war" and "no pollution."

In an interesting side note, one of the McCain posters that set us to giggling said, "McCain" then "with us in bed" or "in bed with us" or something like that.

I'll try to get photos tomorrow.

Finally, recognition is achieved

I'm proud to announce that The Reenactor FINALLY has a "grand prize" win for his cooking. Our church held a chili competition this evening, and his chili took first place. It is a carnivore's delight with three, count 'em, THREE meats (bacon, pork and beef) in it, as well as a healthy dose of hot spices.

He has dutifully been crowned a "ribbon whore" by me.* He noted that in spite of the fact that the homemakers who judge the county fair and who have dissed him two years running on what we all know are prize-winning pickles don't ever TASTE the pickles, whereas at this chili competition the entries were actually sampled.

His prize...a soup cookbook!

There will be no living with him now.

* I heard the term "ribbon whore" on Prairie Home Companion last summer when Garrison was interviewing a woman who regularly wins more ribbons than anyone else at the Minnesota State Fair for her baking. She said that she and all the other women (and men) who compete regularly all admit they are only in it for the ribbons, hence the term "ribbon whore."

Is bigger better?

I have been noticing an interesting trend here in the western-most part of the Commonwealth. Twice in the last two days I have found myself in traffic sitting behind a big 'ol SUV with a HUGE Palin bumper sticker on the back of it. Notice I said, "Palin." Not McCain/Palin...just Palin. Did I miss something? Is SHE running, or is she the running mate?

And is the bigger bumper sticker (above the average size for those sorts of things) supposed to imply even more enthusiastic support? Or is the driver assuming that everyone behind her (and it has been a "her" both times) is so blinded by all the bling on her expensive SUV that we need bigger type?

Just wondering.

cat mowing the yard

Yeah, I know the election is just days away, and I'm suffering from real election fatigue. So what is funnier than our cat mowing the yard? Obviously this is electronically altered (a bit....I just took The Reenactor out, except his fingers) but we really did have her on the lawnmower.

No cats were hurt in the production of this photograph.

the truth on the playground

T1 got in the car after school eager to tell me about how she had become a scientist that afternoon. As you read this, bear in mind that this was related to me in the "he said, she said" breathless tones only a grade-schooler can tell.

Apparently, a group of girls on the playground had found what they claimed were a bunch of "roly-poly" bugs...the bugs that roll themselves into a small ball for protection. T1 and another friend went to see this find and after looking at the "bugs" informed the girls that those weren't bugs, they were rocks. So much for education in the Commonwealth, huh? Anyway, the girls who had found the bugs insisted that they WERE bugs, not rocks. T1 took the initiative to try to "squish" one with her fingernail, and when the bug/rock wouldn't squish, she again pronounced it a rock. Nope, still a bug, said the girls. All right, said T1, let's take it to a teacher. She not only took it to her homeroom teacher, who said it was a rock, but to the school's gifted program teacher, who had the bad luck to be walking nearby at that moment, and he too said, yes those (there was more than one) are rocks. Satisfied that she had the authoritative opinion of TWO adults, she returned to the girls and reported their statements that these were not bugs, but rocks.

No, they are bugs, the girls insisted. At this point T1 became exasperated and told them they were crazy (I hope she used nicer words) and that everyone who had looked at them said they were rocks, and they couldn't be squished, so they were rocks.

Thankfully recess ended about then, and the great bug/rock debate was over.

So why am I relating this story to my blog family? Because as she was telling me this in the car I was thinking that my daughter had represented the "liberal elite" media in how she tried to figure out from different sources what these things were, and the girls who defended their opinion that the rocks were bugs, in spite of evidence and opinion to the contrary, represented Faux News.

Yes, I'm losing my mind, and the election can't be over soon enough. But if you STILL have people standing up, on camera, at McSame rallies whining because they can't trust Obama because he's an "Arab", then it is no surprise that their daughters and granddaughters are going to insist that a rock is a bug.

Running the numbers

It is indeed depressing to watch the second Great Depression unfold before our eyes. No wonder they call it a depression. Everyone I know is depressed. Whether it is the economy, or the impending election, or the fact that everything in our world right now seems on the brink of collapse, we are all just flat in a bad mood.

If I run the numbers just for our household it is indeed depressing. Because of the cost of printing and paper, the magazine that I worked for as a freelance designer for 18 years went out of business. They are still publishing online, but my employment with them is cut back to about 10 percent of what I was doing before. The loss of income accounts for about 15 percent of our household income. Add to that the fact that our costs for fuel for our cars has increased by $1500 in the first ten months of this year over the same time last year. Groceries too, in spite of more careful shopping, have increased by $200 in the same time period this year. And our retirement and college funds have tanked by about 25 percent.

And then yesterday, our television that we've had for just 18 months (and that we spent a LOT of money on) developed a "glass half empty" attitude, and is now showing us only the top half of the screen. T1 described it quite accurately as "trying to watch tv over a wall."

So, what is a person to do? Other than take stupid pictures of my cat and posting them here, I am choosing to TRY to be optimistic. I am choosing to see the whole broken television thing as a sign that our family is probably wasting a lot of time watching the damn thing. If we can get it fixed we will. If not, we'll replace it with the cheapest tv we can find. But meanwhile, maybe we'll just read books, play games, and color. Yes, color.

Our numbers aren't great right now, but we do have a lot to be thankful for. And I am.

maverick

There. I said it. She said it so many times last night I thought I was going to bleed out of my ears.

This morning I saw this in a discussion online about the debate. Very nicely worded....

She mentioned the phrase 'team of mavericks'..... I keep visualizing a herd of cats.

But seriously, the definition of a maverick (singular) is: " a person who refuses to conform to a party or group."

So how can you have a 'team of them'?

she said it

If you didn't catch it in the debate, Caribou Barbie actually said, "John McCain has already tapped me and said, that's where I want you...."

Well...I'm sure he wants to, but I didn't know it was fact.

Is it just my clear distaste for this woman that is clouding my judgment, or did she really NOT answer any of the questions asked of her tonight? She pointedly didn't answer at least four or five of the questions Gwen asked her!

And it was a good thing I was NOT making a drinking game of the debate tonight, as I am getting over a cold, because if I had taken a drink every time she said the word "maverick" I'd be drunk right now.

when all else fails...

Listen up, people! The world is falling apart around us! Anarchy on Wall Street! Failures in our banks! Chaos in Washington! What do we do? Enjoy stupid cat photos, that's what.

Here's our Puss, clearly having had a bit too much fun at a party recently, then chipper and ready for cinnamon rolls the next morning!

not good enough to preach

How ironic that the same demographic of people who claim to be thrilled with a self-proclaimed Christian woman running for vice president are part of a demographic of people of faith who have recently rejected a Christian-based magazine featuring women pastors on the cover from being sold in a Christian bookstore chain. We have one of these stores here in our town, and I heard last weekend that copies of "Gospel Today"--which is a general Christian-life magazine--were only available by asking at the counter at this store because of the women pastors on the cover.

So let me get this straight...it's fine that a woman can run for vice president (and in theory be promoted...God Forbid...to President) of the United States, but it ISN'T okay for a woman to be ordained?

I understand that each denomination has specific interpretations of the Bible, and that this particular issue is one that has Scriptures pertinent to both sides (as is true of almost any issue you care to look up in the Bible), but to choose to hide this magazine, as if it were offensive somehow seems, well, offensive to me.

I did a little research by using The Internets to find out more, and wow, the publisher of the magazine is a woman as well! She was rather put off about the whole thing in the quote I read from her, but here's good news (no pun intended), all the attention should help her sales considerably.

I just wonder if the GOP Vice Presidential candidate were the cover gal if the issue would be hidden behind the counter?

Only comedians have the right questions

Why is it that only comedians are the ones asking the real questions in this campaign, or pointing out the obvious that "real" journalists and pundits are afraid to report?

Case in point...I didn't watch it but have heard that in an appearance on The View yesterday John McCain was being asked about some of the statements he and Palin have been making about her experience, and about Obama. Joy Bahar, who is a long-term host on The View and also a stand-up comedian questioned him about two ads his campaign has been running...one about the "lipstick on a pig" comment; and the other claiming that Obama sponsored a bill to teach sex education to kindergarteners. "We know that those two ads are untrue," Behar said. "They are lies."
In both cases the ads end with the required tagline, "I approved this ad."
"Actually, they are not lies," he said to Joy.

Well, yes they are. Anyone who knows how to use "The Internets" can find this out. Even Rove has criticized the sex ed ad as going too far into the territory of "not 100 percent the truth."

Now Barbara Walters was sitting RIGHT THERE. I don't know if she was asking tough questions too, but one would expect a seasoned journalist to do so. Joy--a career comedian--is the one who asked the toughest question.

And huge blessings to Jon Stewart, who in his incredibly intelligent comedy show has to do no more than run clips of politicians making big, bold statements; immediately followed by the SAME politician making a totally different and reversed statement just weeks, or months ago. Again, it is sad that a comedy show has to bring this simple way of proving that they are speaking out of both sides of their mouths, to light. Why isn't this stuff on the primary news channels?

My final reference is the brilliant cold open on SNL last weekend. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler did a fantastic job skewering the differences between Hillary and Palin. Even though it was a comedy skit, the underlying "truth" to what they were saying was impressive.

Humor is all I can stand at this point.

this says it all

T1 received a most excellent gift from her cousin today. She is extremely proud of it, and I am too.

location, location

I was just watching coverage of the damage to Galveston, and the reporter was interviewing a woman who lost everything...her home was inundated with several feet of water, and she said she and her teenage son were living in their truck until they could figure out what to do, or she hopes FEMA will help her. She doesn't have insurance on her home or belongings, and she said she has no money.

The reporter wrapped her story saying that rebuilding Galveston will be a huge task, and will take years to fix.

Why I'm bringing this up is that this is the second time in a century that Galveston has been literally destroyed by a hurricane. And that's not counting other hurricanes that have hit and caused damage, but not been as severe. So, I'm thinking back to 2005 when Hurricane Katrina destroyed the 9th Ward of New Orleans. When residents were asked about whether they should rebuild in such a flood-prone area they insisted that this was their community, and had been for generations, and they wanted to stay. Commentators were blistering in their scorn for anyone who was foolish enough to want to rebuild in the 9th Ward.

So why isn't anyone questioning whether Galveston should be rebuilt? Isn't it likely to be the target again of another hurricane?

Just an interesting comparison.

windy city

We got the side of Ike blowing through our part of the Commonwealth this morning. If this is a tropical depression...and I'm not even sure it ranked as that...then spare me a hurricane. There's a reason I live in the middle of the country.

We watched as wind whipped our three large trees in our front yard and sent a flurry of leaves, twigs, branches and limbs onto our yard for several hours this morning. As we drove into town we had to turn around and find different routes because of downed limbs and trees blocking roads. We lost some siding on the south end of our house,the power was off in most of the area, and the bad news is we didn't get any rain at all out of this..which is the thing we DO need.

This afternoon we spent an hour with all four of us manning rakes, wheelbarrows, and our hands to clean up the mess. We made a good start on it, but we still have a huge limb stuck in a sycamore tree right in the middle of our yard. The limb is forked over the limb below it, and dangles all the way to the ground. The Reenactor is trying to think of ways to get it out without having to hire pros.

Meanwhile, we have a huge pile of debris in our garden that in a couple of weeks will make a heckuva bonfire.

This certainly doesn't rank up there with the devastation Ike wrought further south; but if our yard represents one teeny percent of the cleanup people are having to do around Houston all I can say is I feel for them.

toothless

T2 lost the first of his two front teeth today. It isn't his first baby tooth to come out, but it is the most obvious in his smile. He has that wonderful grin with a big gap in it now.

When he handed it to us tonight to look at before tucking it into the pocket of his tooth fairy pillow (yes, he still believes!) it was a very bittersweet reminder of just how big he is getting, and how quickly time flies.

An hour later we were out walking our neighbor's dog and I was watching the evening clouds float past the half moon, and I remembered what tomorrow is. Seven years ago I was pregnant with T2, and chasing T1 around the house. She had only been walking for a month when the Towers, and our world, collapsed.

I remembered how frightened I was, once the reality of what was happening sunk in on me. I remember walking out into that beautiful September day, looking up at the huge blue sky above me--which is usually streaked with jet trails--and realizing that I had never seen it so clear. Even after the FAA said there was no more air traffic, I was still terrified that at any moment a plane would appear out of nowhere and crash into our neighborhood. I remember holding her until she cried with impatience at not being able to play; and feeling T2 kick in my belly, and wondering what sort of world they would live in. I had never felt so scared in my life.

In the weeks and months following that awful day the news media went from a source of information, to an industry finding fortune in terrifying us as often as possible to get their ratings up. Every time there was the slightest hint that a terrorist plot might be afoot "breaking news" banners went wild with speculation. Every suspicious backpack left in a stairwell at an office building became national news. As every holiday approached a new threat seemed to emerge that if we as much as ventured into a public place we were likely to get assaulted with germs, or radiation, or worse. It didn't take much to trigger one of these panicky news stories....they seemed to come in waves. Tickers about Homeland Security officials advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic sheeting sent me reeling. Did I need to buy this stuff to protect my children? Worries that anthrax might be sealed in letters made me not want to touch our mail.

I officially went into breaking news overload when the horrific conditions in New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina became 24/7 video fodder. Three days after the levees broke, I emailed a friend with the terrifying realization that our government was completely useless at helping us in the event of a natural disaster, or worse, another attack. Her advice? Turn off the damn news.

Well, news junkie that I am, it was hard for me to do this. I have family who have worked professionally as journalists, and I still want to think that those who work in the media are fundamentally honest people wanting to tell truthful stories. The problem is, the news media are owned by corporations, and corporations are interested in making money. You can't make money in the news if no one is watching, or listening to you, or reading your paper. How to get them to watch, listen or read? Find stories that are so compelling that you literally can't take your eyes off them. If you have to stretch things a bit, well you can always apologize later if you get it wrong. No terrifying news today? Follow Britney around and see if she flips you off while slurping up an iced coffee. Make it a headline.

So today, seven years after 9/11, my fear lies not with terrorists, although I don't think they are through with us yet...not by any means. My fear for our country is how vulnerable we are to the massive amounts of information and misinformation we have blasted at us every day. There is no way to sort through it all and make any sense of it. Our nation is divided...right down party lines. We ARE a red state/blue state country. If you are red, you believe everything Faux news and Rush say; if you are blue you think the "liberal media" probably have it right, and as I have learned not only this week, but have been reminded again and again, they have it right only so far as it will continue to generate interest in a story. So where do we meet in the middle? Where does "purple" happen?

My fear, is that we have become a nation of idiots. We allow the news media to manipulate us with inaccuracies, sarcasm and gossip, rather than fact. And I feel like a big idiot for letting it happen to me. "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself" FDR said in the dark days of World War II, and it seems that we as a country have allowed fear itself to define our destiny.

Ignorance is bliss, a friend emailed to me today, and I have to agree. For the first time in a long time I listened to just music as I drove around town to do errands today. It was a mix CD I call "beach music" because listening to it makes me feel like I did when I was young, carefree and headed to the beach. That would be in the good old days before cable news, and the 24-hour news cycle.

This election is going to happen whether I am glued to CNN or not. The outcome will be whatever Madison Ave. and the two parties come up with to persuade the voters which brand of soap will best clean our collective mess. I already know what brand I'm buying, so there is no need to sell anything else to me at this point.

And with that, I'll crank up my tunes in my car, and enjoy my ignorant, toothless bliss.

I stand corrected

My sister sent me some information from factcheck.org regarding some of the statements I've been reporting in my blog (and in emails to family and friends) about Caribou Barbie. Turns out, some of them are wrong, and if not wrong, are just not exactly accurate.

My apologies.

Of course I can only hope that factcheck.org is accurate in what they are reporting (who sponsors that website, and does it attempt to report consistently for BOTH sides of the political debate?) I did a follow-up on Snopes.com on a couple of the issues I had discussed, and found there too that some of the information going through the media is *surprise* false...or at least stretched to within an inch of it's life.

I guess I would feel bad about this if Faux News suddenly went on air with a breaking story about how they have totally distorted virtually everything any Democratic candidate has ever done or said. I would also feel bad if key leaders of the GOP didn't regularly go on television or in speeches and hint at Obama being a Muslim, or his wife unpatriotic. I would definitely feel bad about this if at LEAST half of the "facts" Mrs. Palin herself spouted during her acceptance speech at the GOP convention last week hadn't ALSO been lies.

However, I will raise my hand and promise to do better. I will definitely try to multiple source any claims I make against her in future blogs.

This does not change the fact (and this IS the fact) that the only purpose her candidacy has is to make the voters even more divisive than ever. The GOP operatives knew full well when they decided to make her McCain's running mate that she would reignite the debate on issues that the country is clearly split down the middle on (abortion, teaching creationism in schools, more drilling in wildlife areas), and ultimately as long as the glare of the spotlight was on her, and her Jerry Springer -Goes-To-Alaska family then the spotlight would NOT be on the actual presidential candidate...who is the one we SHOULD be vetting as a nation. She is nothing more than a decoy, and the GOP powers have no intention of ever letting her be anything MORE than a cute chick who is "outdoors-y" (a direct quote from Pat Buchanon) and can clearly fend for herself if Armageddon DOES occur and she and her family have a hankerin' for roast moose followed by a good snowmobile race through a fragile arctic ecosystem.

She is the foil for McCain's "problems" with America's voters. There is no reason that his bland speech at the GOP convention would have roused the "independent" voters to boost his place in the polls...it is just the "buzz" about Sarah. She went for the jugular, and in spite of the fact that most of her direct hits on Obama were inaccurate (and you can check that on factcheck.org) the good 'ol boys and gals out there in FauxNewsLand were thrilled. She didn't abort her Downs Syndrome baby? She's a hero! She knows how to kill and dismember large animals? She spunky! She is "standing by" her pregnant teenage daughter? She's a loving, caring mother! She's a Good Christian Woman! She's a Mother! She married her high school sweetheart!

Okay. Officially. Who gives a damn about any of that? Here's what I care about:

1) The cost of gasoline in my town jumped $.15 a gallon in a matter of hours, based I assume on speculation that Hurricane Ike is going to blast the refineries near Houston to Kingdom Come. The cost of fuel for our two vehicles per month has now become our second largest expenditure...nearly tied with the cost of groceries. Will McCain/Palin put pressure on oil speculators and companies to change this? No. Their solution is to let the oil companies run amouck through what is left of our environment with drills and pipes, with the veiled promise that once our supply is bigger (which would take at least a decade if not longer) then the price of gasoline will drop! Hooray! I don't believe a word of it, of course, because then the oil companies will tack on the cost of all that infrastructure they had to build to do the new drilling and pipeline stuff. Please people....think this through!

2) The war in Iraq is an embarrassment to our country, and a travesty to the people of a nation that was NOT threatening us. We have destroyed lives, entire families, and changed the way we are viewed in the world; and meddled in the balance of power in the Middle East. We need to get out as quickly and efficiently as possible. Will McCain/Palin make this happen? McCain said in February at a town hall meeting that US Troops could be in Iraq as long as 100 years..."As long as Americans are not being injured or harmed or wounded or killed, it's fine with me and I hope it would be fine with you if we maintain a presence in a very volatile part of the world where al Qaeda is training, recruiting, equipping and motivating people every single day."

3) Meanwhile, back at the al Qaeda Training Ranch in Afghanistan, the Taliban has strengthened and become a volatile force again because we didn't commit the troops we needed to truly rout them out in the first place. McCain has pretty much followed the Bush strategy of ignoring the "true" war to fight the "Faux" war in Iraq.

4) Global Warming. Can't emphasize this strongly enough. This is THE main reason we can't re-elect more Republicans to the White House. Republicans pander to the notion that Global Warming is a bunch of hooey, and we should have the God-Given right to drive our super-sized SUVs any damn place we want. I just wish my kids weren't going to have to suffer the consequences of your selfish outlook on this.

5) The economy, stupid. Gas prices are high, food prices are high, people are going into foreclosure or bankruptcy...the economy is in the toilet. I thought the GOP was the party that was supposed to be GOOD for business? Huh? What the? Maybe they are only good for a few select corporations. They certainly haven't proved to be a big help to the middle and lower class in the last eight years.


We have to save ourselves people. Forget Sarah. Forget the fact that Cindy is an heiress. Forget about the fact that Obama didn't wear his "made in China" flag lapel pin for a few months. We need to stay focused on what is important...and that is making sure that the horrific decisions and policies of the last eight years are changed.

And me? I'll try to stick to the facts.

Does this mean Katherine Harris won't get to read "O"?

I just saw a ticker headline that the Florida State Republican Women are "boycotting" the Oprah Show and asking their members (and groupies) to cancel their subscriptions to "O" because they think it is unfair for Oprah to not interview Sarah Palin before the election. Point of fact is that even though Oprah is publicly supporting Obama, she has said she won't interview any of the candidates on her show BECAUSE of her support of Obama. (Obama, Oprah? There's lots of "O's" here!)

All I have to say to that boycott idea is remember how well it worked out for Disney when the Moral Majority tried to get their followers to boycott Disney products and theme parks because of the special events they sponsored for gays? Hmm?

And doesn't Ms. Winfrey make a lot of community contributions with some of her vast wealth? Doesn't she regularly through her show and magazine encourage her fans to get involved in their own communities and work with non-profit and charitable organizations to help others? Ever hear of a cool thing called the "Angel Network?" Couldn't she be considered a "community organizer?"

Well, if she is, that certainly wouldn't give her enough experience to be vice president, would it?

Speaking of elitist snobs

Just when I think I'm at the end of a nice, relaxing day with my family, I encounter one of these people...you'll know who I'm talking about.

I was getting some gas at a station near the interstate, and just as I was swiping my credit card at the pump, in drives a 30-something white man in a souped up Lincoln Continental (with the rims and flashy chrome all over it) and he is blasting, BLASTING some 80s hair band from his seriously loud speakers and doing one of those ultra-slow "hey look at how cool I am" drives into the parking lot of the convenience store.

Well, first of all buddy, if you're trying to impress anyone in a convenience store parking lot, you really are desperate....but I digress.

He pulls into a parking spot, and gets out....all decked out in his baggy cargo shorts, t-shirt and blue-tooth hands-free phone prominently affixed to his ear. And I swear (remember, he's nearing middle age and WHITE) he does the boppity-bop walk you see young rappers do as they walk through a suburban mall or whatever as he goes into the store, chattin' away to someone (or no one?) on his high-tech earring.

And here's the part that is so stupid to me...clearly I'm too old to "get" this... He leaves the car running, stereo blasting (hair band, remember?) bass thumpin' all pimped out car with the windows down and NO ONE IS IN THERE. He goes in to get his pack of Bud or smokes or whatever it was he was craving in all his ghetto-wannabe glory.

Weird.

And comical.

And sad.

But then, I'm an Elitist.

Proud to be an elitist snob

I appreciate all the feedback I've been getting both on the blog, and via email, about my recent angst regarding McCain's "choice" of running mate. I put that in quotes because I think down deep he's probably as alarmed by her as the rest of us are.

Even though I'm in something of a news blackout, I HAVE been listening to funny progressive talk radio (only the funny folks, not the ones who are too serious....I feel the top of my scalp start peeling off in distress if I get too far into this); and watching my beloved Jon Stewart take on the hypocrisy of what the Right is saying in defense of dear Sarah on one hand, and what they've said in recent interviews on EXACTLY the same topic (such as sexism, experience, etc.) about Democratic candidates. Do they truly not realize there are video tape archives of what they are saying on camera?

But I digress...I wasn't supposed to be talking about her. Instead, I'll say this. In light of the fact that she apparently mocked Obama for "just" being a community organizer, let me remind those of you out there who consider yourselves conservatives, your whole raison d'être is to minimize government intervention in our lives. Okay, well who exactly is supposed to organize food pantries, domestic abuse shelters, child advocacy groups, and suicide hotlines if the government isn't doing it? Have you (I'm referring to the collective "you" of the conservatives) volunteered to help with any of these very needed organizations? Have YOU stepped up to help someone who isn't able to pay their mortgage because they've lost their job and are in danger of now losing their shelter? No, I didn't think so.

And how ironic that the morning after McSame gives his acceptance speech the banner headline above his picture on news websites is about how much the stock market dropped in one day (over 300 points) after Sarah's speech (coincidence?) and how the jobless rate has now hit a five-year high.

He is promising "change" from the "liberal elite" in Washington. Well, who the hell are the liberal elite? Elite is the new word for "intelligent." I am elite because I think, therefore I can't be trusted to make important decisions. I am elite because I don't just accept the swill that Faux News spits out as "fair and unbalanced" without questioning the motives of the corporation behind it. For that matter, I don't just accept ANY questionable news story without looking for multiple sources.

Being elite means having the balls to want my presidential candidate to ACT presidential... not like a goofy, inarticulate good 'ol boy from Texas. Being Elite means I hope that my candidate can actually speak with inspiration and hope, not with sarcasm and fear. Being elite means I dearly love the idea that my candidate is funded by millions of donations from individuals desperate for a new direction for our country, not by corporations with vested interests in destroying our environment, and ruining our ability to have decent health care without going bankrupt in the process.

Being elite means I don't find a caribou-gutting, lying*, self-absorbed hockey mom at ALL suitable to be the vice president of my country. And I also don't find a geriatric man who uses his treatment as a prisoner of war 40 years ago as the main reason we should vote for him. Being elite means that I actually give a damn about how important a decision the presidential race is... I don't see it as being a popularity contest like American Idol.

I'm elite, and I'm proud of it.

*Fact check the GOP speeches...Sarah's is especially full of false claims.

Too Much

I am going to have to take a break from news for a week to see if I can calm down. I was moved to tears so many times last week listening to the inspiring speeches given in Denver, and within 24 hours of the high of hearing Obama's historic nomination acceptance speech I was once again feeling desperate and scared, angry and betrayed by news from the GOP. First, the appalling VP choice; then the president taking the opportunity of a hurricane in the Gulf to again make his case for additional oil drilling there.

Wait a minute, if the idea is that a Gulf coast hurricane can seriously jeopardize oil production there, WHY are we looking to add extra platforms right in harm's way? This man is interested in NOTHING but oil. Every action he has taken in the White House has been tied in some way to oil. I have taken to calling oil the root of all evil in the world...because whatever is wrong right now you can tie it directly to either the production of, the use of, the pollution from, or the craving for, oil.

And then, this evening as Ms. Sarah-I-Don't-Believe-Global-Warming-Is-Manmade is giving her speech, I see a news ticker that a huge chunk of an ice shelf has broken off, further alarming scientists as to how rapidly the oceans are warming.

If you do nothing else when you go to vote this fall think about what you are doing for your children by the choice you make. Is their future REALLY better now than it was before Bush took office? Do you truly think that John and Sarah are going to make it all better? Really?

So meanwhile I'm going to self-impose No News on myself for a week. I need to see if cutting myself off from the 24-hour news cycle cold turkey can improve my outlook.

MY view as a mother

Yes, I'm STILL wound up about dear Sarah...just ask The Reenactor. Don't say the word "Sarah" in my house unless you want a diatribe complete with foaming mouth and much stomping about. My newest rant though is just how oblivious the far right is to their own hypocrisy. I for one am very alarmed that a woman who gave birth to a special needs child just a few months ago, thinks in her family-values world that taking on this all-consuming job of campaigning (and heaven forbid she's the winner) the 24/7 job of vice president is a great idea. Yes, Daddy Palin in theory can help with the baby, but the point is that BOTH parents need to be focusing as much time and energy as possible into their baby and HIS needs right now.

Having a baby is exhausting--ask any new parent. Having a special needs baby adds even more time both parents should be spending seeing to his needs. Now, add into that mix the news that your teenage daughter is pregnant. For any regular family this would be considered a pretty complicated year....one where I feel like MOST families would feel they need to close ranks and focus on working through all the new changes and challenges in their lives. Oh, but wait a minute...forget all that...now Mom decides she should spend the next few months (please not years) running for national office...yeah...GREAT idea!

I am certainly not saying that women should give up their careers to raise their families. But MOST women don't have to choose to take on this type of career move at a time in their families' lives where they are most needed. And most professional women don't make a point of standing on a stage preaching how pro-family they are at a time when their own families need them the most. Sarah made a choice. Granted, she was already governor when she got pregnant with--and gave birth to--her fifth baby. She was already in a high-stress, high-demand job. But the fact that she has made a point of adding even more stress and demand on HER time in the first year of his life makes me question HER family values. And the fact that she knew what a bright light of negative energy was going to glare on her teenage daughter at a time when she least needs it also makes me question just how seriously she takes her role not just as a mother, but as a PARENT.

And finally...all you Dobson-lovin' family values folks out there...why is it when one of your own comes up short on the "value-o-meter" it is a good thing, but heaven help the "liberal" who has a lapse in judgment? I promise you...and think about this...had this been one of Obama's beautiful daughters (as teenagers) can you imagine the indignation that would ensue from the righty talkers? The rants that would come from radios and televisions across the country about black teenagers getting pregnant? Can you imagine even if it were Chelsea who was pregnant? How it would be just like someone raised by Bill and Hillary to get pregnant out of wedlock?

And one more "finally" that has been getting to me. Sarah has been called a "hero" for not aborting Trig...even though she knew before he was born that he had Downs Syndrome. She isn't a hero...she is a mother. These days most parents DO know before the child is born if there are health issues. Personally, this was something The Reenactor and I were aware of that could be a possibility before our own T1 and T2 were born. We had multiple tests to check their health status (including an amnio), and even before we had the tests done I KNEW, and so did my husband, that there was no way we would abort...even if they had been a D.S. baby. We were already too in love with them. We were already parents. Being a parent means accepting and loving the baby God blesses you with. Making a choice to keep your Downs Syndrome baby doesn't make you heroic...thousands of people make this decision every year. Being a responsible parent after the baby is born and sacrificing your own interests to see that they get the best care...THAT makes you a hero. I question whether Sarah is truly doing that.

My heart breaks for any mother or father who is faced with this, or with other health issues that are life-threatening to their unborn child, or to the health of the mother. I know people for whom this has been a wrenching decision. None of this....NONE of this should be a factor that is trumpeted from the political stage as making one candidate superior to another.

And please, Sarah, and the evangelical base who support you, please don't dare suggest you are more "pro-family" than I am.

the vagina monologue

Does Mr. McCain really think that because his vice presidential pick is a woman that all women who are "disenfranchised" Hillary supporters are going to flock to his ticket and vote for him? Does he REALLY think that women are that stupid? Does he really believe that we will look at her and think, "gee, I really relate to HER, she's a mom and a WOMAN!" and we'll happily make that big check mark on the Republican ticket come November?

Personally, I am insulted on SO many levels by his choice. First, it is SO obvious that she is not a qualified candidate by any measure to be one heartbeat away from the most important elected office in the world. Second, because she isn't qualified, there must be some reason he picked her...hmmmm...what could it be? What is it that the 18 million voters who cracked that "glass ceiling" were voting for? Was it JUST because Hillary was a woman? Or rather, was it because there were 18 million voters out there who believed that the policies of the current administration AND their party are taking our country down a disastrous path. Does his party really, REALLY believe that just because he parades a woman out as his VP choice ("look...we can think women are smart too!") that we (those of us with vaginas) are going to fall in line and think THAT is a brilliant idea?

At least, at the very least, he could have picked a woman with a better resume, someone who actually hasn't only been in state-level elected office for under two years, and just a month ago was asking (on a broadcast interview, no less) that someone should please explain to her exactly what it IS the vice president does on a daily basis? Are you frickin' KIDDING me? Are there really, truly NO other qualified women in the Republican party? Is it her adorable little glasses and puffy hairdo? Is it the fact that she is the mother of five? Well, so is Nancy Pelosi...get over yourself about that. If breeding children is an qualification for being the president of the US (remember, she could be just a breath away) then I would rather vote for "Kate" of Jon and Kate Make Eight.

And yet, the GOP seems to think that I WON'T be insulted by this choice?

Yes, yes, there are women out there who are as solidly in line with the GOP as I am with the Democratic Party, and they are probably giggling amongst themselves about how John sure did pull a fast one on those Democrats...NOW look who has a woman on the ticket!! But sadly, they miss the point. They TOTALLY miss the point. The fact is that all women...all of us who are mothers, or grandmothers, or sisters, or wives, or daughters...should be thinking just how critical this election is to our very existence...and the future of our own children. The next president MUST tackle the issue of global warming. We are on the cusp of it being too late as it is...we cannot waste another four years on this issue. The next president MUST restore our standing in the world community, and not get us involved in any more hostilities. Our next president MUST make affordable healthcare for ALL citizens a priority. I promise...it will be absolutely the thing that finally caps off the middle class of this country if we don't change how it runs now.

The GOP talking heads are all raving about how she's "pro-life." Great. I won't argue her right to think that women shouldn't have abortions. But here's an idea, Sarah. It's all fine and well to protect the rights of the unborn, but what about the born....what about the babies of parents who can't afford to take them to the doc to get checked for bronchitis or pneumonia? What about the toddlers who are diagnosed with Autism who can't get the help they need because their school districts or communities offer no help for this disorder, and their parents can't afford help. What about the fact that our own children face a world of food shortages, and new diseases that will be brought on by climate change? What about all those babies (born and unborn) in Iraq who have been killed or injured for NO reason other than greed for oil and revenge for Daddy's failures by Shrub?

I'm a Democrat, I'm a woman, and I AM Pro Life--PROtective of the lives suffering in our midst now. I believe that the abortion issue (which I honestly have very personal mixed feelings about) should NOT be the deciding factor on every other important issue before our country and world right now. I believe that if you are "pro-life" you ought to be aggressively seeking ways to feed, house, educate and care for the millions of children in our own country who are living in poverty right now.

Don't pander to me, Mr. McCain. Don't think that your "trophy" VP pick will appeal to average women any more than your beer-heiress, multiple-house owning wife does. Most women are NOT life-long members of the NRA, most women haven't been (or wanted to be) beauty queens. Most women ARE smart enough to see though your veiled attempt at placating the Hillary supporters. And most women think it's poor indication of your own judgment.

les Miserables

One of the fun (ironic use of word here) things about people chatting on their cell phones in public places, is that those of us who aren't part of the conversation get to listen to just one side of the story, and make assumptions about what is going on.

I was in a waiting room this morning, and while attempting to read a book, was so distracted by a one-sided conversation I couldn't help but overhearing, that I don't remember a word I read. A woman in her mid-60s, and with an obnoxiously loud voice with a strong South-in-the-mouth drawl, was informing the poor person on the other end of her phone conversation about all the horrible things going on in her family. One family member had died of a heroin overdose two years ago; another had loaned money to someone claiming to need it for tuition, but of course (I'm quoting here) "you know where it went...to WEED." The woman complained about another relative who was living with her boyfriend, and how her own sister wouldn't loan her any money, even though she "had $1600 to have a tree cut down at her house in Florida." This woman was apparently having trouble paying her bills, to which I wanted to point out that rather than borrow money from her Florida sister, maybe cutting back on cell phone usage might be a step in the right direction.

Oh, this woman was chatty, and obnoxious, and literally had a cloud of disappointment and misery floating around her. You could just feel the negativity vibrating from her...even across the room.

Either she was filling in her phone friend with the latest details from her favorite soap opera (which is what this all sounded like), or she truly can't find any single thing in her life to report to her caller that was positive.

Thankfully I didn't have to listen long, but her conversation obviously stuck with me. It makes me wonder what the person on the other end of the call was thinking. I hope whoever it was just tolerated her unpleasant phone call and got off the line as soon as gracefully possible.

Whatever happened to the good old days of the relative privacy afforded by phone booths?

Yes, but is it art?

This was the question that a Drury art professor posed to me and my classmates during our project "show and tell" time each week. In this particular class we were presented with an art "problem" and told what materials we could, and couldn't use to create a work of art to "solve' the problem. It was a great class, and taught me a lot about how to look at everyday objects differently, and with the idea that anything can be made into art, as long as there is intent and follow-through from the artist. It was a concept I already understood, but this particular class, and the repeated question of "It is nice, but is it art?" at the end of each critique made me see that some art really IS art, and a lot of it is bullshit.

So The Reenactor and I took T1 and T2 to St. Louis today to enjoy the cool dinosaur exhibit at the STL zoo (very, very cool...especially if you are geeky enough to like animatronic dinosaurs) and after a few hours looking at animals we went to the STL art museum, just up the hill from the zoo. We had come armed with sketchbooks, pencils and crayons, and The Reenactor left the three of us there to enjoy art (and do some sketching) while he went to the nearby MO History Museum for an exhibit on the lives of Lee and Grant. We lead an exciting life, no?

So we started in the downstairs galleries, where I've taken the kids several times, and they know all the rules about not touching the walls (or the art) and being quiet and calm so as to not alarm the guards, and they enjoyed sketching their versions of some of the paintings...mostly from the classical period...in their drawing books. We finished up down there and still had some time to look around, so we went where I've never taken them before...the third floor modern art wing. Well, this was a whole new world to T1 and T2...they were amazed at the difference in what was on the walls, and the floor, in that wing. We browsed through a gallery of pre-WWI German modern paintings---who knew the Germans were so colorful and fun before the Great War? Then we went into a gallery that housed several large paintings that mostly consisted of industrial themed drippings of paint and other materials on very large canvases. While T1 and T2 were NOT impressed, I still tried to explain that this was in fact art, and in some circles was very respected and admired. On one wall of this gallery were four panels, each approx. 6 x 12 feet vertical rectangles...all four matching sheets of glass with charcoal gray paint covering the back side. They had an odd mirror-like quality to them, and sure enough, when I read the description of them, the artist intended that they be "mirror-like" yet with a diminished quality so that the reflection isn't true. Well, okay....good for you. Your big gray shiny squares are in a major gallery. Woohoo!

THEN we came to the room with two object d'art displayed...one was a "quilt" made of hundreds or thousands of bits of metal from cans or boxes held together with small metal brads. It was interesting in a funky sort of way, although T1 was very dismissive of it...said it was a "quilt made of junk." AND in the middle of this room was a ring of rocks. Yes, a ring I'm guessing 15 feet in diameter, and approximately mounded up to 2 feet tall, with a ring width of 3 feet or so, of limestone rocks...a smaller version riff-raff like you fill a ditch with. It was just a ring of rocks. T1 and T2 were appalled. WHY is there a pile of rocks in here, they demanded. After shushing them, I explained that someone had thought to make an artistic statement with those rocks, and therefore, there they were.

Of course T2, in spite of being warned repeatedly to stay clear of them, managed to snag his foot on one of the rocks in the ring, dislodging it and moving it about 2 inches, and just as I was readying to ease it back into place with my foot, the VERY snarky guard in that room yelled at me to LEAVE IT ALONE. I imagine I would get snarky too if I had to guard a circle of rocks all day, but this guy got hysterical with several visitors over their camera usage, and yelled at T1 because she "walked too fast" through the gallery. Damn. You're ruining this whole modern gallery thing for us, dude.

Which brings us back to the original question...is it art? Within feet of this ring of rocks are paintings and sculptures by the likes of Warhol, Rothko, Matisse, and those cool German artists I had never heard of but really liked their stuff. I overheard a woman in the gallery (after having been shrieked at by the guard to not even dare to use her flash to photograph the Rothko painting) observe of the rocks, "well I guess someone thinks it is art, but it looks like something I could have done at home." THIS is my point. I always feel like I have been duped when I see something like this in a gallery. I call bullshit. What, exactly, is the point of the circle of rocks? Is it supposed to make us feel the hollowness of our existence? Is it meant to represent the circle of life---as seen through the eyes of a person who has been doing a lot of landscaping with limestone recently? Hmm? I have seen beautiful art made simple natural elements, and I understand that sometimes a simple visual element can make a powerful statement, but I just never got past the fact that this was just rocks.

The Reenactor asked me when I was relating this story to him what the rocks were meant to represent. I said I thought it represented that some bullshit artist had convinced a wealthy art patron that his circular pile of riff-raff was worthy of purchasing and donating to a major museum.

I realize that many of you who read this blog are artists, or involved in cultural activities to the extent that you might find yourself defending the circle of rocks artist for his right to represent his art in this manner. All I know is I saw no technique, no use of creative skill, no real intrinsic beauty in it. It didn't move me emotionally...either positively or negatively..it just was there. And no, my critique is it ISN'T art.

I can see clearly now

To those of you not of the virtual family campfire here's the scoop. Our beach week was cut short because I got a call from my eye doc asking if I would like to move up the Lasik surgery I had scheduled for mid-August to Friday of last week, and in the process, get to be "cut" by a better machine, AND save a thousand bucks. Hmmm...let me think about that and get back to you.

Had it done yesterday....$1000 is too good a savings to ignore. Things still a bit hazy, and a bit gritty feeling. I can see clearly out of my left eye, but the right is still a bit blurry...but hopefully that will clear up in a few days. But, for the first time since I was in high school I drove a car today without prescription glasses on my face.

Now THAT is something to be thankful for.

beach

The virtual campfire is moving to South Carolina for a week. If I have an opportunity to lay hands on an internet connection I'll post, otherwise....

if you're lucky enough to be at the beach, you're lucky enough.

speech

"... we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

"...When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again."

Excerpts from a speech made by Robert F. Kennedy in 1968

The happiness of blueberries

Thanks to a "check this out" email from a friend I found a place locally to pick blueberries. To give you an idea of how ignorant I am about blueberries, I didn't realize they even grew in these parts. I thought they required cooler, drier climates than the hell-hot and humid western part of the Commonwealth. But grow they do, and this particular pick-your-own farm gave me an opportunity on two different occasions last week to experience the joy of picking fresh, ripe, and sweet blueberries. These are NOT the berries you get in the plastic clamshells at the supermarket...these are wonderful.


When we first began picking the blueberries last week the first few that landed in the buckets made a distinct "plunk" sound. If you have ever read the children's book "Blueberries for Sal" you know that the "kerplink, kerplank, kerplunk" sound is part of the story. We were happy to discover that blueberries do in fact make this sound.

So last week turned into "puttin' up" week. "Puttin' Up" is what my mom used to say about preparing any food for long-term storage. When I was young we put up corn, peas, green beans, strawberries, peaches, and applesauce. Lord did we put up applesauce. Gallons of the stuff.

After making a blueberry/lemon bread (deeeee-lishious!), and a blueberry/apple pie (with apples from my own tree), and after T1, T2 and I snacked on these things till we were blue in the face, I got really resourceful and decided to freeze the remaining blueberries.

I also have June apples of my very own for the first time since I planted my four apple trees five or six years ago. I have already made and frozen enough applesauce to satisfy even MY cravings for it, and we still have way more apples than I can use, so I'm trying to think creatively.

Which brings me to a roundabout way to my point. My children are seeing first hand the source of some of their foods. They actually picked the blueberries with me, and helped wash them. I've been sending them out to our apple trees with a bucket to pick apples, and teaching them how to tell the ripe ones from the not-ready-yet ones. They are watching and learning as I bake with these things and store them for future use. They are also watching The Reenactor grow the pickling cucumbers for his not-ready-for-a-blue-ribbon (yet) pickles. And they've helped him can those as well. What used to be a fact of life for most families (spending summers preserving fresh foods for winter) is becoming a rare pasttime. Yet it is so rewarding. I felt so peaceful in that blueberry patch...picking, listening to my children talk, and tasting fresh sweet berries. Here's my point, if we could find ways to re-introduce more children to the process of growing food, they might have a greater appreciation for what they consume, and the precious resource we have in agriculture. Blueberries don't grow on grocery store shelves, they grow on bushes. If it freezes too late in the spring--no blueberries. If the birds get to them first---you are left with quite literally the leftovers. Growing fresh foods doesn't just happen...it takes time, patience, and the blessings of the right amount of sunshine and rain. But once you see and taste the difference they bring to your kitchen, you are hooked.

Happy Birthday, Mom

Mom reflected in a mirror, 1940s

A story by my niece

With apologies to Sgt@Arms for not getting her permission to reprint this first, I was looking for a way to recognize my mother's birthday today and found this in my closet o'family history. It is really a nice memory of a lovely day. It won't mean much to any of you outside our family, but for the rest of us, enjoy!



*********

July 5, 1993
by Jenny

It was one of those perfect sunny summer days when everything just falls into place.
The leafy green breeze gently blew our scattered family in for a perfect landing around the Matriarch’s patriotic dinner table.
Lunch at one o’clock.

Eleven place settings in red, white and blue.
Tiny flags and Queen Anne’s lace in a vase in the middle.
Steam rising off platters and piles of Grandma food: Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn on the cob, home-made bread, lemonade.
“These green beans were still on the vine this time yesterday,” and the last bowl was placed and we sat.
Heads bowed, mouths dripping, we joined hands and waited for a blessing.
Papaw looked around at his children and theirs for a long moment...and began...
“Very seldom are all of my children and grandchildren all around the same table at once.
This means a lot to your mother and I -- we really appreciate it.
I think today we’ll just have a silent prayer.”
The breathless silence that followed almost stopped my beating heart.
We were all very grateful indeed when he uttered “Amen.”

Such a feast, such a feast! Feast Feast Feast Feast!
We dined and we drank and the sisters all giggled,
We feverishly swallowed and sipped.
We chewed and we talked and reloaded our plates
While Grandma told the same story twice.
Then she looked out over her half-moon spectacles and picked the slowest eater
“Edward!” she said, “What do you need?”
“Nothing right now - I’m fine.”
“Do you need some more chicken? Coleslaw? Applesauce?”
“No thanks, Mom, I’m fine.”
“Pass this chicken down to Edward,” she decided. “Jennifer! What do you need? Green beans? Corn?”
“Doing alright down here, Grandma.”
“Pass these beans down to Jenny,” she said.
My arm twisted, I loaded more beans on my plate and forced them into my more than content stomach.
The meal went on, and on, bowls emptying one by one, plates slowly clearing.
I leaned back, belly up, in my creaking chair.
We were all so full our eyeballs were bulging when Grandma called, “Gooseberry pie?”
The rest of the day we were scattered about on couches and hammocks and rockers in the shade
Trying to get comfortable around our cross-eyed stomachs.
It wasn’t too hot, the green breeze sighed on, and we chatted and read and slept.
The kids set off fireworks when the sun was setting, all golden around the apple trees.
No one thought about supper, but instead a projector was brought down and dusted off.
And with a box of 8 millimeters and a crabby old screen, we sat hushed in the couch and the floor, we watched...
Aunt Alice, three years old, with two braids down her back, rode her tricycle up and down a sunny sidewalk, post WWII. Papaw swept her off her trike and into the air, and laughing, caught her again. Grandma appeared, young and embarrassed, and led little Alice inside.
More films were to be shown. Liz’s first birthday, Grandpa Ed at the post office, Robinette family reunions, Fourth of July - ‘51 - this was saved for last. We loaded it on, and it flickered and flipped. We taped it and tried it again and were taken to July 4th, fourty-two years past.
It was a lawn in Niangua, Missouri, decked out with Adirondack chairs and flags, in the sun.
Long dead, dearly missed old timers peered and waved at us from their yard, all smiley and lively and young.
They just waved and smiled, so happy on the Fourth.
A day for their family, for friends and food, and fireworks.
A day for our family too.
Forever,
Amen.

*July 4th fell on a Sunday in 1993, so the celebration was put off until the 5th so church activities wouldn’t be messed up.

What the 4th of July means to me

After watching the incredible series "John Adams" on HBO a few months ago I have a fresh perspective on what tomorrow means.

First of all, the background of the men who wrote the Declaration of Independence, and the drafts and work they put into writing it, (and later the Consitution and Bill of Rights), should be taught more thoroughly in schools. When you see the debates they had about our rights as citizens, and the reasons they had for the wording of those documents, it makes you appreciate all the more what a nearly perfect work it is. Like the Bible, the Declaration, Constitution and Bill of Rights are often misinterpreted, and equally often misquoted for self-promotion. The Founders were articulate, intelligent, thoughtful, religious men, and they risked not only their own lives, but the lives of their families by even meeting to write the Declaration. If you do nothing else this 4th, go online and read a copy.

Second, above all else, patriotism does NOT mean I have a flag pasted on the bumper of my car, or attached as a pin on my dress, or suit, or waving from my front porch. Patriotism is paying attention to what our politicians are doing as they represent us, and making sure they are held accountable for their actions. Patriotism is educating ourselves about the issues that affect us, and VOTING.

Third, there are still too many men and women dying and being horribly injured in a war we never should have been in to begin with. Peace will not come to that country as long as we remain as an armed force there. We need to leave. We are destroying our military with this war, and destroying lives of not only our soldiers, but of their families as well. And I'm not even including the innocent people we have hurt in Iraq.

Reading a recent story about the beginning of Bobby Kennedy's campaign I was amazed at how many of the speeches he gave referencing our involvement in the Vietnam War could be given now...just replace Vietnam with Iraq.

Next, on a lighter note, it ain't the 4th without a parade. I was lucky enough to grow up in a town with a great 4th of July traditional parade complete with marching bands playing Sousa marches, twirlers (yes, twirlers...do bands have twirlers any more?) politicians in convertables, kids on decorated bikes, people riding horses in all manner of finery (the people AND the horses) and the must-have of all rural community parades...the antique tractors. Post-parade there were stump speeches by local candidates, carnival rides, cotton candy and sno-cones, and the huge family reunion that was the essence of that day. Not our family...the community family I grew up with. Lately I don't see any familiar faces after the parade, which is really sad for me. There is a great bluegrass song called "Rank Stranger" -- about returning to your hometown after being away for a long, long time. The chorus is something like, "everybody I see seems to be a rank stranger" -- well, that is how the 4th in my hometown is for me now. BUT, I still get to watch my kids ride their decorated bikes in the parade, and that makes it worthwhile.

Happy Independence Day.

a dollar's worth of fun

It only takes $1 to delight small children. We had company over the weekend, and between the two young visitors (ages 5 and 8) and our own Thing 1 and Thing 2, we had a large time with a box of sparklers. It was fun that lasted for an hour...and nothing caught on fire (except the sparklers!)