toothless

T2 lost the first of his two front teeth today. It isn't his first baby tooth to come out, but it is the most obvious in his smile. He has that wonderful grin with a big gap in it now.

When he handed it to us tonight to look at before tucking it into the pocket of his tooth fairy pillow (yes, he still believes!) it was a very bittersweet reminder of just how big he is getting, and how quickly time flies.

An hour later we were out walking our neighbor's dog and I was watching the evening clouds float past the half moon, and I remembered what tomorrow is. Seven years ago I was pregnant with T2, and chasing T1 around the house. She had only been walking for a month when the Towers, and our world, collapsed.

I remembered how frightened I was, once the reality of what was happening sunk in on me. I remember walking out into that beautiful September day, looking up at the huge blue sky above me--which is usually streaked with jet trails--and realizing that I had never seen it so clear. Even after the FAA said there was no more air traffic, I was still terrified that at any moment a plane would appear out of nowhere and crash into our neighborhood. I remember holding her until she cried with impatience at not being able to play; and feeling T2 kick in my belly, and wondering what sort of world they would live in. I had never felt so scared in my life.

In the weeks and months following that awful day the news media went from a source of information, to an industry finding fortune in terrifying us as often as possible to get their ratings up. Every time there was the slightest hint that a terrorist plot might be afoot "breaking news" banners went wild with speculation. Every suspicious backpack left in a stairwell at an office building became national news. As every holiday approached a new threat seemed to emerge that if we as much as ventured into a public place we were likely to get assaulted with germs, or radiation, or worse. It didn't take much to trigger one of these panicky news stories....they seemed to come in waves. Tickers about Homeland Security officials advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic sheeting sent me reeling. Did I need to buy this stuff to protect my children? Worries that anthrax might be sealed in letters made me not want to touch our mail.

I officially went into breaking news overload when the horrific conditions in New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina became 24/7 video fodder. Three days after the levees broke, I emailed a friend with the terrifying realization that our government was completely useless at helping us in the event of a natural disaster, or worse, another attack. Her advice? Turn off the damn news.

Well, news junkie that I am, it was hard for me to do this. I have family who have worked professionally as journalists, and I still want to think that those who work in the media are fundamentally honest people wanting to tell truthful stories. The problem is, the news media are owned by corporations, and corporations are interested in making money. You can't make money in the news if no one is watching, or listening to you, or reading your paper. How to get them to watch, listen or read? Find stories that are so compelling that you literally can't take your eyes off them. If you have to stretch things a bit, well you can always apologize later if you get it wrong. No terrifying news today? Follow Britney around and see if she flips you off while slurping up an iced coffee. Make it a headline.

So today, seven years after 9/11, my fear lies not with terrorists, although I don't think they are through with us yet...not by any means. My fear for our country is how vulnerable we are to the massive amounts of information and misinformation we have blasted at us every day. There is no way to sort through it all and make any sense of it. Our nation is divided...right down party lines. We ARE a red state/blue state country. If you are red, you believe everything Faux news and Rush say; if you are blue you think the "liberal media" probably have it right, and as I have learned not only this week, but have been reminded again and again, they have it right only so far as it will continue to generate interest in a story. So where do we meet in the middle? Where does "purple" happen?

My fear, is that we have become a nation of idiots. We allow the news media to manipulate us with inaccuracies, sarcasm and gossip, rather than fact. And I feel like a big idiot for letting it happen to me. "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself" FDR said in the dark days of World War II, and it seems that we as a country have allowed fear itself to define our destiny.

Ignorance is bliss, a friend emailed to me today, and I have to agree. For the first time in a long time I listened to just music as I drove around town to do errands today. It was a mix CD I call "beach music" because listening to it makes me feel like I did when I was young, carefree and headed to the beach. That would be in the good old days before cable news, and the 24-hour news cycle.

This election is going to happen whether I am glued to CNN or not. The outcome will be whatever Madison Ave. and the two parties come up with to persuade the voters which brand of soap will best clean our collective mess. I already know what brand I'm buying, so there is no need to sell anything else to me at this point.

And with that, I'll crank up my tunes in my car, and enjoy my ignorant, toothless bliss.