Yes, I know that is a crude reference to bathroom humor, but here's what happened. Last night as I was slicing up some cheddar cheese to serve to a houseful of kids I was entertaining (along with their moms) I decided to use the handy-dandy new cheese knife sent to me for Christmas by my eldest sister. It was slicing beautifully, and I had just finished making a joke about the SNL Danny Akroyd spoof of Julia Child, where he/she cuts her hand and blood spurts everywhere. "I seem to have just cut the dickens out of my hand," or something like that. Moments later I realized that I had sliced not cheese, but my ring finger on my left hand. I was literally stunned for a moment, and my first thought was, "I wish I could redo that last 20 seconds." I honestly thought the top of the finger was lopped off, but after glancing at the knife...which did have blood on it, but no tissue or fingertips, I knew it was just a bad cut.
Fortunately, my friend E.G., who is a fine member of the medical community, was one of my guests, so I put her to work seeing exactly what I had done to myself. I had a nasty cut...it took off the end of my fingernail and went into the bed of the nail, but she assured me that stitches probably wouldn't work there, so a trip to the ER wasn't necessary, much to my relief.
The bad news was, The Reenactor had his fully stocked Fishing Tackle Box of Bandages and Other Emergency Supplies That I Kid Him About with him on a volunteer trip to NOLA, lest there be an emergency THERE. So, other than a handful of Dora the Explorer bandaids I was SOL for medical supplies. Not to worry, E.G.'s mom --who is a delightful woman -- drove into town to buy things at the nearest pharmacy. Finger was thickly guazed and swaddled, and our own dinner...which I had been getting ready to prepare...was now turned into a all-hands-on-deck cooking class with me waving my injured left hand in the air (to keep the circulation away from the injured finger) and trying to stir and give directions at the same time.
Food turned out great...no fingertips were reported in it...and after a trip to my own doc today for a tetanus shot and review of the injury, I'm wrapped again in fresh sterry strips (spelling?) and a half-inch of gauze all around.
Do you realize just how much you USE just one of your fingers, and how often it is a hindrance to have it wrapped in gauze? Doing dishes and typing are interesting.
Oh, and Big Sis...I do LOVE the cheese knife...but I will certainly be more careful next time.
4 comments:
Glad you like the lethal weapon, but I sure hope you stick to cheese-y use with it from now on...
By the way, what is the red and yellow item in the picture, or do I really want to know?
Thing 1's backpack...it was on the table.
If you ask sgt@arms, you might get her to sing you the "Opposable Digit Blues," even though your injury was sustained on the ring finger. Hand damage in general is traumatic, rendering oneself so useless as to be able to come up with several verses to the aforementioned song.
I have a lethal cheese shredder too, and have also lost bits of fingernail- and finger- to it. Owch!
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