T1 and T2 had their first official "snow day" today. We haven't had a snow "event" as the NWS gleefully refers to a snow storm these days, since they started school. A snow event always makes me think there should be music and hors d'ouvres. Anyway....we watched the school closing ticker on the local news, and while T2 had the appropriate reaction (Yay!..NO SCHOOL!) and immediately ran to his room to get out some toys; T1 exhibited typical first-child reaction. At first she teared up and cried...."I WANT to go to school." Then she questioned me repeatedly about whether it was "okay" for them to not go to school, and would anyone else be there. When I reassured her--over and over again--that NO ONE was at school today, she worried that maybe at some point people would go to school...like later in the morning...and she would not be there and get in trouble.
She is very concerned about all this, and the reprucussions of missing a day of school because of snow.
So, we went outside and used our sled on the wee hill at the front of our lawn. The mix of less than an inch of snow and wet grass made it perfect for sliding, and they had a great time.
Hot chocolate followed.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
What I have learned from old men
I am in a class/group discussion at my church right now that is really an incredible experience. The idea is that you share with the other members of your group your own "spiritual biography." Today was the third week, and each week we've heard from a different person in our group. Two of the six people in this class are gentlemen who I am guestimating are in their 80s. Both seem to be in good health and very active, long-time members of the church. Before this class started I "knew" both of them in that I had greeted them at church services and potluck suppers, but other than that knew virtually nothing about them.
Last week we heard from one of the men, and today we heard the story of the other. I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to both of them tell their life stories, and their own quest to "find" God.
Here is what I have learned from them.
1) Age doesn't give you extra insights into your faith. Both men have expressed their lifelong struggle with doubts about their faith, and their relationshiop with God.
2) Lives of quiet greatness can be lives well lived. Both of these men are well educated, have had interesting careers, served in the armed forces and have raised families. Both are quite humble about what they have achieved in their lives, but just listening to them tell their stories is fascinating. I hate to be all Tom Brokaw here, but they are part of the reason it is called the "greatest generation."
3) Men of that age have such a respect for each other. Last week one of the men was talking about his late wife (he's a widower) and the other man, who has known him for years, smiled and said what a "peach" or (some cool Forties word like that) his wife had been. Watching these men talk to each other in front of the rest of us, you realize that the friendships forged over decades ascend to a whole different level than the ones we are accustomed to in our mobile society today.
I feel so honored to have heard their stories and been able to share my own thoughts with them. Here's the sad part...if it weren't for this class I can't imagine that I would have ever had a reason to have listened to them tell their stories, and learned so much about them. And I would have missed out on something really special.
Last week we heard from one of the men, and today we heard the story of the other. I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to both of them tell their life stories, and their own quest to "find" God.
Here is what I have learned from them.
1) Age doesn't give you extra insights into your faith. Both men have expressed their lifelong struggle with doubts about their faith, and their relationshiop with God.
2) Lives of quiet greatness can be lives well lived. Both of these men are well educated, have had interesting careers, served in the armed forces and have raised families. Both are quite humble about what they have achieved in their lives, but just listening to them tell their stories is fascinating. I hate to be all Tom Brokaw here, but they are part of the reason it is called the "greatest generation."
3) Men of that age have such a respect for each other. Last week one of the men was talking about his late wife (he's a widower) and the other man, who has known him for years, smiled and said what a "peach" or (some cool Forties word like that) his wife had been. Watching these men talk to each other in front of the rest of us, you realize that the friendships forged over decades ascend to a whole different level than the ones we are accustomed to in our mobile society today.
I feel so honored to have heard their stories and been able to share my own thoughts with them. Here's the sad part...if it weren't for this class I can't imagine that I would have ever had a reason to have listened to them tell their stories, and learned so much about them. And I would have missed out on something really special.
Friday, January 18, 2008
cuttin' the cheese
Yes, I know that is a crude reference to bathroom humor, but here's what happened. Last night as I was slicing up some cheddar cheese to serve to a houseful of kids I was entertaining (along with their moms) I decided to use the handy-dandy new cheese knife sent to me for Christmas by my eldest sister. It was slicing beautifully, and I had just finished making a joke about the SNL Danny Akroyd spoof of Julia Child, where he/she cuts her hand and blood spurts everywhere. "I seem to have just cut the dickens out of my hand," or something like that. Moments later I realized that I had sliced not cheese, but my ring finger on my left hand. I was literally stunned for a moment, and my first thought was, "I wish I could redo that last 20 seconds." I honestly thought the top of the finger was lopped off, but after glancing at the knife...which did have blood on it, but no tissue or fingertips, I knew it was just a bad cut.
Fortunately, my friend E.G., who is a fine member of the medical community, was one of my guests, so I put her to work seeing exactly what I had done to myself. I had a nasty cut...it took off the end of my fingernail and went into the bed of the nail, but she assured me that stitches probably wouldn't work there, so a trip to the ER wasn't necessary, much to my relief.
The bad news was, The Reenactor had his fully stocked Fishing Tackle Box of Bandages and Other Emergency Supplies That I Kid Him About with him on a volunteer trip to NOLA, lest there be an emergency THERE. So, other than a handful of Dora the Explorer bandaids I was SOL for medical supplies. Not to worry, E.G.'s mom --who is a delightful woman -- drove into town to buy things at the nearest pharmacy. Finger was thickly guazed and swaddled, and our own dinner...which I had been getting ready to prepare...was now turned into a all-hands-on-deck cooking class with me waving my injured left hand in the air (to keep the circulation away from the injured finger) and trying to stir and give directions at the same time.
Food turned out great...no fingertips were reported in it...and after a trip to my own doc today for a tetanus shot and review of the injury, I'm wrapped again in fresh sterry strips (spelling?) and a half-inch of gauze all around.
Do you realize just how much you USE just one of your fingers, and how often it is a hindrance to have it wrapped in gauze? Doing dishes and typing are interesting.
Oh, and Big Sis...I do LOVE the cheese knife...but I will certainly be more careful next time.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
The pursuit of happiness
What a strange thing for the Founders to have put in the Declaration of Independence. We want to pursue our happiness, dammit, and we don't need the King bossing us around!
I saw 20/20 last night on ABC, and the topic was happiness. How happy are we? How do we achieve happiness? Where is the happiest place on earth? Well, surprisingly, the happiest country on earth is Denmark. Turns out most people in Denmark rate themselves very high on a scale of "happiness" in surveys. I'm attaching some of the copy from last night's show to the end of this post, but two things caught my attention and those of you who know me well will understand why they did. The first is that even though Denmark has really high taxes, there is incredible health care coverage, and education programs. There are programs for social networking and transportation. Think about how your life would change if you didn't have to worry about paying for medical care, or having an illness that was going to bankrupt your family. Think about how you would feel if you knew that your school system had the same level of quality as the one across town.
Another aspect of this is that it tends to even out income. As they said on the program a doctor, an artist, and a garbage collector all even out in their incomes because of the combination of taxes, and the benefits they receive from the government. So, you can truly make a career choice based on life fulfillment rather than income. They interviewed the garbage collector, who is treated like a friend in the neighborhoods he works in. People come out to talk to him, and offer him coffee. When is the last time you offered coffee to your CWI collector? This man (in Denmark) said he chose his career because he only has to work five hours a day, and he can spend time with his kids, and coaching sports teams the rest of the time.
Two other points about the Danes to consider....they have more time to have friends. In fact hobby clubs, and having dinner with neighbors and friends is high on their priority list. And second, they aren't as interested in "things" as we are. They are not into purchasing stuff for their homes, and buying bling and flash cars like we are.
Now honestly, this sounds like a perfect discription of a socialist society, and perhaps there is something to be said for it. One caveat, there are only 5.5 million people in Denmark, and it does tend to be a homogenous society (I think that is the right word) so collectively they tend to agree on most things. It would be MUCH harder to have that sort of collective ideal in the US because we can't agree on much.
So, what I got from this is that happiness can be achieved...not from things, or status...but from time spent with family and friends, and from just taking time to pursue your interests...reading books, singing, watching birds, whatever.
****************************
Here is some of the text pulled from last night's script:
Danes do have one potential complaint: high taxes. The happiest people in the world pay some of the highest taxes in the world -- between 50 percent and 70 percent of their incomes. In exchange, the government covers all health care and education, and spends more on children and the elderly than any country in the world per capita. With just 5.5 million people, the system is efficient, and people feel "tryghed" -- the Danish word for "tucked in" -- like a snug child.
Those high taxes have another effect. Since a banker can end up taking home as much money as an artist, people don't chose careers based on income or status. "They have this thing called 'Jante-lov,' which essentially says, 'You're no better then anybody else,'" said Buettner. "A garbage man can live in a middle-class neighborhood and hold his head high."
Hanging out with other Danes just may be their happiness secret. Ninety-two percent of Danes belong to some kind of social club, dancing, singing, even practicing laughing with other Danes. Get a few people together who enjoy model train building, for example, and the government will pay for it. In Denmark, even friendship is subsidized.
And Denmark is what is called a "post consumerist" society. People have nice things, but shopping and consuming is not a top priority. Even the advertising is often understated. Along with less emphasis on "stuff," and a strong social fabric, Danes also display an amazing level of trust in each other, and their government. A University of Cambridge happiness study found that both kinds of trust were higher in happier places.
I saw 20/20 last night on ABC, and the topic was happiness. How happy are we? How do we achieve happiness? Where is the happiest place on earth? Well, surprisingly, the happiest country on earth is Denmark. Turns out most people in Denmark rate themselves very high on a scale of "happiness" in surveys. I'm attaching some of the copy from last night's show to the end of this post, but two things caught my attention and those of you who know me well will understand why they did. The first is that even though Denmark has really high taxes, there is incredible health care coverage, and education programs. There are programs for social networking and transportation. Think about how your life would change if you didn't have to worry about paying for medical care, or having an illness that was going to bankrupt your family. Think about how you would feel if you knew that your school system had the same level of quality as the one across town.
Another aspect of this is that it tends to even out income. As they said on the program a doctor, an artist, and a garbage collector all even out in their incomes because of the combination of taxes, and the benefits they receive from the government. So, you can truly make a career choice based on life fulfillment rather than income. They interviewed the garbage collector, who is treated like a friend in the neighborhoods he works in. People come out to talk to him, and offer him coffee. When is the last time you offered coffee to your CWI collector? This man (in Denmark) said he chose his career because he only has to work five hours a day, and he can spend time with his kids, and coaching sports teams the rest of the time.
Two other points about the Danes to consider....they have more time to have friends. In fact hobby clubs, and having dinner with neighbors and friends is high on their priority list. And second, they aren't as interested in "things" as we are. They are not into purchasing stuff for their homes, and buying bling and flash cars like we are.
Now honestly, this sounds like a perfect discription of a socialist society, and perhaps there is something to be said for it. One caveat, there are only 5.5 million people in Denmark, and it does tend to be a homogenous society (I think that is the right word) so collectively they tend to agree on most things. It would be MUCH harder to have that sort of collective ideal in the US because we can't agree on much.
So, what I got from this is that happiness can be achieved...not from things, or status...but from time spent with family and friends, and from just taking time to pursue your interests...reading books, singing, watching birds, whatever.
****************************
Here is some of the text pulled from last night's script:
Danes do have one potential complaint: high taxes. The happiest people in the world pay some of the highest taxes in the world -- between 50 percent and 70 percent of their incomes. In exchange, the government covers all health care and education, and spends more on children and the elderly than any country in the world per capita. With just 5.5 million people, the system is efficient, and people feel "tryghed" -- the Danish word for "tucked in" -- like a snug child.
Those high taxes have another effect. Since a banker can end up taking home as much money as an artist, people don't chose careers based on income or status. "They have this thing called 'Jante-lov,' which essentially says, 'You're no better then anybody else,'" said Buettner. "A garbage man can live in a middle-class neighborhood and hold his head high."
Hanging out with other Danes just may be their happiness secret. Ninety-two percent of Danes belong to some kind of social club, dancing, singing, even practicing laughing with other Danes. Get a few people together who enjoy model train building, for example, and the government will pay for it. In Denmark, even friendship is subsidized.
And Denmark is what is called a "post consumerist" society. People have nice things, but shopping and consuming is not a top priority. Even the advertising is often understated. Along with less emphasis on "stuff," and a strong social fabric, Danes also display an amazing level of trust in each other, and their government. A University of Cambridge happiness study found that both kinds of trust were higher in happier places.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
results!
I am posting my official year-end results for my "stop shopping at WM" campaign. While I was not altogether successful, as faithful readers will know, I DID have a significant drop in the amount of money I spent there this year. I had several relapses through the year where my attitude was "it's convenient, and cheap, dammit." But the last couple of times I was in there, before Christmas, I was SO angry at how few people they had working the registers at the busiest time of the year, and the general malaise I felt just being in the building, that I have renewed resolve to keep out.
Here's my official tally:
Amount spent in 2006 at WM: $8587
Amount spent in 2007 at WM: $4669
That is still a depressing $389 per month average that I spent there, but the big picture is that I only spent roughly HALF of what I spent the year before!!! And in reviewing the last six years in Quicken, I consistently spent between $8000 and $9000 per year each of those years at WM.
Now with that said my grocery bill did increase by approx. $1000 from previous years. However, I do have some explanation. First, I bought a LOT more organic foods this year, which are more expensive. Organic milk alone is twice as expensive as regular milk. Also, I think groceries have just been higher this year because of increased fuel costs. And last, I had several "big grocery weeks" when we were buying food for large groups of people (beach, birthday party, etc.).
I looked up what WM's annual sales are and it was something like $346 billion so imagine the impact my $3900 had on them! Ha! Okay, so imagine if each family cut their WM spending by half and spent their dollars elsewhere. That might get their attention.
Here's my official tally:
Amount spent in 2006 at WM: $8587
Amount spent in 2007 at WM: $4669
That is still a depressing $389 per month average that I spent there, but the big picture is that I only spent roughly HALF of what I spent the year before!!! And in reviewing the last six years in Quicken, I consistently spent between $8000 and $9000 per year each of those years at WM.
Now with that said my grocery bill did increase by approx. $1000 from previous years. However, I do have some explanation. First, I bought a LOT more organic foods this year, which are more expensive. Organic milk alone is twice as expensive as regular milk. Also, I think groceries have just been higher this year because of increased fuel costs. And last, I had several "big grocery weeks" when we were buying food for large groups of people (beach, birthday party, etc.).
I looked up what WM's annual sales are and it was something like $346 billion so imagine the impact my $3900 had on them! Ha! Okay, so imagine if each family cut their WM spending by half and spent their dollars elsewhere. That might get their attention.
artsy cat dish
T1 and T2 had $20 burning a hole in their pockets this week....cash gifts from their great aunt Jo. We decided to use the money to go to a local pottery painting place, so they could get their art groove on. They each got to pick two pieces, and one of the pieces T1 picked was a pet food dish. She proceeded to give it a jungle theme for our decidely non-jungle cat. The cat is very impressed with her new dish, and has been guarding it fiercely every time I've seen her around it. She pushes it around with her paw, as if not satisfied with it's current location. She has actually laid down next to it with her paws around it as well.
Monday, December 31, 2007
2007 in the rearview mirror
Here's my top ten list of things that happened this year:
1) The Reenactor got a different job at his company. This means after nearly 12 years of marriage I don't have to look forward to him working shift hours on nearly every holiday weekend, being called in because something broke, then not coming home except to sleep for two weeks, and his general angst and unhappiness in his former job. He is now stictly an administrative office geek, and we all saw a difference in him immediately.
2) T2 started kindergarten. In spite of the fact that I still hate to have him and T1 gone from the house so much, it is a new day for me to have time during the day to get some things done.
3) Our vacation to Disney. Okay, I complained long and loud about it in earlier posts, and I still think the whole thing is vastly overrated, but the kids did have fun, and it was a joy as a parent to watch them experience it.
4) My trip to NOLA to help with Katrina relief. Even though it makes me angry to my core that so many people are still without adequate shelter and assistance repairing their homes three years after the fact, it was both educational and rewarding to work with such good people who are actually living there and living this nightmare on a day-to-day business. I was so honored to meet Rev. Vance and Fred from C of C. They have a special box of admiration all wrapped up under my tree.
5) Getting the bathroom (s) and kitchen remodeled. Even though our house has been been a complete mess for most of the year, we are getting it together and cleaned up now, and we are happy with the results. Now we're going to sell it!
6) Finding out that I really have good friends as I struggled through some mystery illness/condition for several months last spring. I still don't know exactly what happened to me, but I suspect it was a combination of a too-intense antibiotic mixed with some other meds I was taking at the time to relieve a severe ear infection; mixed up with the stress of The Reenactor's workload (at the time) and many other things. Whatever it was, it was a nightmare. My friends stood by me, and were so supportive. Thanks to you all.
7) Realizing I can say no. And that is my theme for 2008....saying "no."
8) Discovering even more wonderful state parks in So. Ill. Beautiful trails, close to home, all good!
9) My brother moving back to MO. I cried when he called to tell me, and now that we got to spend part of both Thanksgiving and Christmas at his excellent new home, I realized just how much I needed to have more family living in the Ozarks. Sisters, take a hint! We need to all live closer together!
10) T1, T2 and The Reenactor. I hit the jackpot with all of you.
1) The Reenactor got a different job at his company. This means after nearly 12 years of marriage I don't have to look forward to him working shift hours on nearly every holiday weekend, being called in because something broke, then not coming home except to sleep for two weeks, and his general angst and unhappiness in his former job. He is now stictly an administrative office geek, and we all saw a difference in him immediately.
2) T2 started kindergarten. In spite of the fact that I still hate to have him and T1 gone from the house so much, it is a new day for me to have time during the day to get some things done.
3) Our vacation to Disney. Okay, I complained long and loud about it in earlier posts, and I still think the whole thing is vastly overrated, but the kids did have fun, and it was a joy as a parent to watch them experience it.
4) My trip to NOLA to help with Katrina relief. Even though it makes me angry to my core that so many people are still without adequate shelter and assistance repairing their homes three years after the fact, it was both educational and rewarding to work with such good people who are actually living there and living this nightmare on a day-to-day business. I was so honored to meet Rev. Vance and Fred from C of C. They have a special box of admiration all wrapped up under my tree.
5) Getting the bathroom (s) and kitchen remodeled. Even though our house has been been a complete mess for most of the year, we are getting it together and cleaned up now, and we are happy with the results. Now we're going to sell it!
6) Finding out that I really have good friends as I struggled through some mystery illness/condition for several months last spring. I still don't know exactly what happened to me, but I suspect it was a combination of a too-intense antibiotic mixed with some other meds I was taking at the time to relieve a severe ear infection; mixed up with the stress of The Reenactor's workload (at the time) and many other things. Whatever it was, it was a nightmare. My friends stood by me, and were so supportive. Thanks to you all.
7) Realizing I can say no. And that is my theme for 2008....saying "no."
8) Discovering even more wonderful state parks in So. Ill. Beautiful trails, close to home, all good!
9) My brother moving back to MO. I cried when he called to tell me, and now that we got to spend part of both Thanksgiving and Christmas at his excellent new home, I realized just how much I needed to have more family living in the Ozarks. Sisters, take a hint! We need to all live closer together!
10) T1, T2 and The Reenactor. I hit the jackpot with all of you.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
3 gen
Happy birthday to my son, the finest boy I know. Happy birthday to me. I'm just turning 39, again. Happy birthday to Howard. Out there somewhere he's enjoying the best chocolate cake in heaven.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
the phone call
I ask for your endulgence as I go in a very personal direction today. After my father died a couple of years ago a friend of mine--who had lost her mother the month before--told me that as I grieved I would go for weeks feeling fine, then I would get "zinged" out of nowhere and find myself crying about my parents. Now that both my parents are gone I do find that often I will have a Mom or Dad "zing" out of nowhere and it cuts to my core.
Last weekend I was visiting family in Missouri and had the opportunity to go to a party where there were many people from my hometown. Most of these people were several years older than me, but I remember them from church and school activities of my youth, and it was great fun to talk to them. At one point a woman I don't know or remember, when finding out my maiden name, said, "oh I had your Mother as my teacher in fourth grade." I immediately got "zinged" when she said that. My mother taught school in a one-room schoolhouse in a rural part of our county before I was born. It is very unusual for me to meet one of her former students. The woman continued, and told me that my mother was an "awesome" teacher. A while later I met a man I personally didn't know, but recognized his name. When he asked who I was and I told him who my parents were (in trying to figure out the hometown family tree) he said that my dad had been a regular customer at his tractor parts store for years. He said that my dad was one of the finest men he ever met, and that he (my dad) always treated him with nothing but courtesy and respect.
What those two people didn't know is that they gave me the best Christmas gift I got this year...a new memory of my parents.
Later, at my brother's cool new/old house, I got another "zing" just standing next to a piece of furniture that belonged to my parents, and now has pride-of-place in the dining room at The Edward's home. As long as I can remember this desk/hutch served sentry over family meals and gatherings in our childhood home. It held my mother's collection of cookbooks, and the cubbyholes in the desk were full of her notes to herself, and an odd assortment of snapshots. The drawers had a peculiar wood/musty/barn smell to them when pulled out that is seared in my memory. The first time I visited The Edward's house at Thanksgiving I pulled out one of those drawers just to smell it. Still smells that way.
That piece of furniture is once again standing over our family meals, and I find great comfort in that.
On the last night we were in MO I had this moment where I was thinking of what would happen if I dialed my parents' old phone number. It hasn't been in service for three and a half years. Would someone answer? What if someone answered and sounded like Mom? I thought about what it would be like to dial that number and hear my mother answer. For the record, I didn't dial the number...I'm not that far gone...but it was something I mulled over for a long time.
Then the day after Christmas I was listening to NPR, and Writer's Almanac was on. I haven't heard W.A. in a long time, mostly because it is on exactly when I'm taking the kids to school, and I'm ususally listening to XMKids on that drive. On Wednesday Garrison read a poem by Grace Paley called "I needed to talk to my sister..."
Here's the poem:
I needed to talk to my sister
talk to her on the telephone I mean
just as I used to every morning
in the evening too whenever the
grandchildren said a sentence that
clasped both our hearts
I called her phone rang four times
you can imagine my breath stopped then
there was a terrible telephonic noise
a voice said this number is no
longer in use how wonderful I
thought I can
call again they have not yet assigned
her number to another person despite
two years of absence due to death
(I copied this from the W.A. website...here is the copyright info:)
from Fidelity. © Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2008. Reprinted with permission.
Last weekend I was visiting family in Missouri and had the opportunity to go to a party where there were many people from my hometown. Most of these people were several years older than me, but I remember them from church and school activities of my youth, and it was great fun to talk to them. At one point a woman I don't know or remember, when finding out my maiden name, said, "oh I had your Mother as my teacher in fourth grade." I immediately got "zinged" when she said that. My mother taught school in a one-room schoolhouse in a rural part of our county before I was born. It is very unusual for me to meet one of her former students. The woman continued, and told me that my mother was an "awesome" teacher. A while later I met a man I personally didn't know, but recognized his name. When he asked who I was and I told him who my parents were (in trying to figure out the hometown family tree) he said that my dad had been a regular customer at his tractor parts store for years. He said that my dad was one of the finest men he ever met, and that he (my dad) always treated him with nothing but courtesy and respect.
What those two people didn't know is that they gave me the best Christmas gift I got this year...a new memory of my parents.
Later, at my brother's cool new/old house, I got another "zing" just standing next to a piece of furniture that belonged to my parents, and now has pride-of-place in the dining room at The Edward's home. As long as I can remember this desk/hutch served sentry over family meals and gatherings in our childhood home. It held my mother's collection of cookbooks, and the cubbyholes in the desk were full of her notes to herself, and an odd assortment of snapshots. The drawers had a peculiar wood/musty/barn smell to them when pulled out that is seared in my memory. The first time I visited The Edward's house at Thanksgiving I pulled out one of those drawers just to smell it. Still smells that way.
That piece of furniture is once again standing over our family meals, and I find great comfort in that.
On the last night we were in MO I had this moment where I was thinking of what would happen if I dialed my parents' old phone number. It hasn't been in service for three and a half years. Would someone answer? What if someone answered and sounded like Mom? I thought about what it would be like to dial that number and hear my mother answer. For the record, I didn't dial the number...I'm not that far gone...but it was something I mulled over for a long time.
Then the day after Christmas I was listening to NPR, and Writer's Almanac was on. I haven't heard W.A. in a long time, mostly because it is on exactly when I'm taking the kids to school, and I'm ususally listening to XMKids on that drive. On Wednesday Garrison read a poem by Grace Paley called "I needed to talk to my sister..."
Here's the poem:
I needed to talk to my sister
talk to her on the telephone I mean
just as I used to every morning
in the evening too whenever the
grandchildren said a sentence that
clasped both our hearts
I called her phone rang four times
you can imagine my breath stopped then
there was a terrible telephonic noise
a voice said this number is no
longer in use how wonderful I
thought I can
call again they have not yet assigned
her number to another person despite
two years of absence due to death
(I copied this from the W.A. website...here is the copyright info:)
from Fidelity. © Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2008. Reprinted with permission.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
the Birds
We were overtaken Sat. by a herd of black birds. My guess is that there were thousands in this flock, and were probably heading through our area ahead of the big snow/ice storm that was north of us. It was a bit Hitchcock-esque watching them all land in the yards around us, virtually covering the ground with a mass of black, chirping, squawking movement.
Our cat was about to lose her mind watching them. She was running from window to window and twitching with energy to get out there and hunt.
Click on the photos to see them a bit larger, and you get a better idea of how many there were.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Peace on Earth
Last night at bedtime T1 asked me in a hushed, tearful tone if we were going to be bombed. "Do bombs happen here?" she asked.
It's one of those gut-clenching parenting moments, when you hover on the precipice of being honest, or being cheerfully dishonest. T1 is no fool, and she is very tuned in to things she sees or hears at school, or from friends, so I have to be careful in my approach to such a question.
I asked her why she was asking, and it turns out that while helping me find a "write a letter to Santa" website, she had briefly seen the CNN website, with a photo and headline of a car bombing in Algiers, and because she is really getting good at reading, was able to make out two words..."car" and "bomb."
I explained to her that the photo she saw was taken on the other side of the world, and not close to us, but my mind was thinking of the fact that somewhere in Algiers, or Iraq, or Isreal, a child just like T1 was asking her mother at bedtime why a car blew up outside her school today, or why her friend was killed when she went grocery shopping with her daddy.
T1 asked me why do people have wars. I was tempted to launch on a tirade against presidents who knowingly send our soldiers into a country where we have no real quarrel to start a war that never should have been started, but it was late, and I didn't want to keep the poor child up for hours while Mommy ranted.
This is a question that when you look at it from the simplicity of a child's perspective is something every person should ask. What good does it do? What possible good comes from bombs? It is so sad that 2000 years after Christ was born--bringing the message of peace and love to all of us--we are still keen to senselessly kill one another.
T1 asked if she or T2 would ever have to be soldiers. God help us all, I hope no mothers have to send their children to war by the time they are grown up.
It's one of those gut-clenching parenting moments, when you hover on the precipice of being honest, or being cheerfully dishonest. T1 is no fool, and she is very tuned in to things she sees or hears at school, or from friends, so I have to be careful in my approach to such a question.
I asked her why she was asking, and it turns out that while helping me find a "write a letter to Santa" website, she had briefly seen the CNN website, with a photo and headline of a car bombing in Algiers, and because she is really getting good at reading, was able to make out two words..."car" and "bomb."
I explained to her that the photo she saw was taken on the other side of the world, and not close to us, but my mind was thinking of the fact that somewhere in Algiers, or Iraq, or Isreal, a child just like T1 was asking her mother at bedtime why a car blew up outside her school today, or why her friend was killed when she went grocery shopping with her daddy.
T1 asked me why do people have wars. I was tempted to launch on a tirade against presidents who knowingly send our soldiers into a country where we have no real quarrel to start a war that never should have been started, but it was late, and I didn't want to keep the poor child up for hours while Mommy ranted.
This is a question that when you look at it from the simplicity of a child's perspective is something every person should ask. What good does it do? What possible good comes from bombs? It is so sad that 2000 years after Christ was born--bringing the message of peace and love to all of us--we are still keen to senselessly kill one another.
T1 asked if she or T2 would ever have to be soldiers. God help us all, I hope no mothers have to send their children to war by the time they are grown up.
I'm not alone!
My niece emailed to me a website link last night, from a commecial she had seen on her local television newscast. I am so thrilled to find out that there is an entire website devoted to the same angst over WM that I have shared with all of you in this blog for nearly a year. At first glance it appears to be chock full of information about WM's terrible employee compensation, dependence on manufacturing in China, and other just crappy ethical behavior, to KEEP THOSE PRICES LOW.
Here's the link:
http://wakeupwalmart.com
Here's the link:
http://wakeupwalmart.com
Saturday, December 8, 2007
the Happiness of Bubble Lights
Since my Christmas lights are out of reach in the dark recesses of our storage shed, and I've got too many other commitments this year to spend much time trying to get them out, I went ahead and bought all new lights for our new Faux Christmas tree this year....first one ever for me. I've always been a purist when it comes to Christmas trees, and purchased "live" (actually "dead" since they had been cut down) but this year a friend turned me onto a deal I couldn't turn down...a $20 artificial tree at a surplus place here in my town. The tree actually looks remarkably good, and since I need a decent tree this year, with no wilting, browning of limbs, or whatever, I bought it.
So anyway...I went to a big box store (NOT WM!!!) to buy lights, and there, in the midst of all the lights were bubble lights. The good old "retro" lava-lamp bubble lights. My brother has had them on his tree for years, and I've always admired them. I was further convinced to buy them since they were on sale, and once I got home started stringing lights on my God-Knows-What-Sort-of-Manufacturing-Conditions-In-China tree. The regular lights all went up quickly, and looked...well...okay. Then I added in the bubble lights. T1 and T2 were immediately thrilled with them, as was I. In fact, I kept looking at them all night. Every time I walked through the room I looked at my bubble lights. Here's what I will say about them, they make me smile. They just are so happy looking.
So there. If you are having bad week, go out and buy bubble lights.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
How depressing
I live in one of the top three most depressed states in the US. A recenty survey identified my Commonwealth as one of the top three, lagging only behind Utah. Turns out because there is a general lack of funding for mental health care here, so we are suffering from an abundance of untreated depressed people.
This doesn't surprise me.
The study went on to note that the states with the largest counts of people identifying themselves as "depressed" were also the least educated states.
I'm not knocking the idea that there are depressed people out there, I'm knocking the fact that as a society, particulary in the Commonwealth apparently, depression isn't recognized as a health issue and funded accordingly for lower income people.
On the bright side, we do have more smokers than most other states, as well as a higher level of obesity.
Pick me up a bucket of chicken and a pack of smokes on the way home, Buford, I'm feeling blue today.
This doesn't surprise me.
The study went on to note that the states with the largest counts of people identifying themselves as "depressed" were also the least educated states.
I'm not knocking the idea that there are depressed people out there, I'm knocking the fact that as a society, particulary in the Commonwealth apparently, depression isn't recognized as a health issue and funded accordingly for lower income people.
On the bright side, we do have more smokers than most other states, as well as a higher level of obesity.
Pick me up a bucket of chicken and a pack of smokes on the way home, Buford, I'm feeling blue today.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
whatever happened to blocks?
I just saw a story on the NYTimes website about the most popular toys for preschoolers this holiday seasons. Turns out laptops, MP3 music players, and digital cameras are the hottest toys this year ... for 3-5 year olds.
Get a GRIP, people! Preschoolers need blocks and cars they have to push to go "vroom" with, and dolls and pretend kitchens and puzzles, and bouncy balls they can throw and chase across the yard.
To paraphrase from the article, one of the hottest toys this year is an exercise bicycle connected to a video game. According to a toy industry analyst there's been a "huge jump" in the last year in toys that involve looking at a screen.
I saw the bike/video game thing in a catalog and thought it was the dumbest thing I ever saw.
I'm not speaking out of turn here...I have two children (T1 and T2) and I can report with great authority that they would probably have a brief fascination with that thing, and then it would gather dust.
On the other hand, T2 is still creating the most amazing structures with the basic wood block set his grandparents gave him for Christmas five years ago. He builds detailed courses for his Hot Wheels cars to travel on with wooden shims we got at the lumber store. T1 colors and draws with plain old Crayons, and makes toy critters out of rocks and things she finds in the yard, and castoff packaging from things we get shipped to us.
I found a box of marbles in my storage shed the other night that I had brought home from my parents' house several years ago. At the time T1 and T2 were too young to play with small marbles (choking hazard) but now they are old enough to not do that, so I got on the floor and taught them how to play. T2 is toting them around like a Major Prize Gift from the Gods now.
My sisters recently brought my kids the "Tiddlywinks" game. Again...how basic is THAT? And they LOVE it. Ditto with dominoes, Crazy Eight card games and the kid version of Monopoly.
I'm on my righteously indignant parenting soapbox right now, but puhlllleeeaaaase....don't ENCOURAGE your children to spend any more time in front of a TV/Video than they already do!!!!
Oh, and here's an idea...how about taking them out on REAL bikes for a ride?
Get a GRIP, people! Preschoolers need blocks and cars they have to push to go "vroom" with, and dolls and pretend kitchens and puzzles, and bouncy balls they can throw and chase across the yard.
To paraphrase from the article, one of the hottest toys this year is an exercise bicycle connected to a video game. According to a toy industry analyst there's been a "huge jump" in the last year in toys that involve looking at a screen.
I saw the bike/video game thing in a catalog and thought it was the dumbest thing I ever saw.
I'm not speaking out of turn here...I have two children (T1 and T2) and I can report with great authority that they would probably have a brief fascination with that thing, and then it would gather dust.
On the other hand, T2 is still creating the most amazing structures with the basic wood block set his grandparents gave him for Christmas five years ago. He builds detailed courses for his Hot Wheels cars to travel on with wooden shims we got at the lumber store. T1 colors and draws with plain old Crayons, and makes toy critters out of rocks and things she finds in the yard, and castoff packaging from things we get shipped to us.
I found a box of marbles in my storage shed the other night that I had brought home from my parents' house several years ago. At the time T1 and T2 were too young to play with small marbles (choking hazard) but now they are old enough to not do that, so I got on the floor and taught them how to play. T2 is toting them around like a Major Prize Gift from the Gods now.
My sisters recently brought my kids the "Tiddlywinks" game. Again...how basic is THAT? And they LOVE it. Ditto with dominoes, Crazy Eight card games and the kid version of Monopoly.
I'm on my righteously indignant parenting soapbox right now, but puhlllleeeaaaase....don't ENCOURAGE your children to spend any more time in front of a TV/Video than they already do!!!!
Oh, and here's an idea...how about taking them out on REAL bikes for a ride?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
12 step program
A good friend of mine informed me the other day that avoiding W.M. is sort of like being in a 12-step program. If you are trying to avoid it (like I claim to have been for nearly a year now) you have to find alternate ways of feeding your craving, especially in THIS town, when it offers the only reliable choice for groceries in a particular geographic area; you also have to confess when you've been bad and shopped there (I've been doing that a bit on this blog, but not enough) and you have to come to grips with who and what you are hurting when you shop there.
Even though she was gently teasing me at the time, it is true. It is too easy to fall back into the W.M. addiction, and I've defiitely fallen off the wagon of late. You would think that they planned it out or something. Market themselves specifically to me, even though I claim to hate the place. I do hate the place. I hate shopping there. I hate their smug corporate attitude. So why am I spending The Reenactor's hard-earned salary there? Even on the smallest purchase?
One word: convenience.
I find that I go there for weird multiples...I might have half an hour to shop for five items...trash bags, organic milk, DVD-Rs, a birthday gift for T2's friend, and ballet tights for T1. I need all of these items in the next 24 hours, and I have the choice of driving to four or five different stores....at least two of which would still be "big box" stores, of lumping all these errands into one location and being done with it.
So I'm guilty of shopping there. And I FEEL guilty. I feel bad that I'm supporting such an awful corporate culture. I feel angry that I don't have better choices for groceries and other items in the town I live in. I am disturbed that most of the items I buy there are made in a sweat shop on the other side of the world. I don't want to have such far-reaching consequences lumped on my hurried-up need for milk, toys, and trash bags.
I don't have an answer, I'm just venting. I am still going to make a choice to shop elsewhere as often as possible, and to avoid the big box stores as much as I reasonably can. I'm hoping that if there are enough of people out there like me doing at least a portion of their shopping elsewhere, that the big corporations will realize they ARE accountable to us to be responsible citizens. Maybe I'm dreaming....maybe I'm just fantasizing at this point....dreaming my dreamy dreams.
I can always hope, though.
Even though she was gently teasing me at the time, it is true. It is too easy to fall back into the W.M. addiction, and I've defiitely fallen off the wagon of late. You would think that they planned it out or something. Market themselves specifically to me, even though I claim to hate the place. I do hate the place. I hate shopping there. I hate their smug corporate attitude. So why am I spending The Reenactor's hard-earned salary there? Even on the smallest purchase?
One word: convenience.
I find that I go there for weird multiples...I might have half an hour to shop for five items...trash bags, organic milk, DVD-Rs, a birthday gift for T2's friend, and ballet tights for T1. I need all of these items in the next 24 hours, and I have the choice of driving to four or five different stores....at least two of which would still be "big box" stores, of lumping all these errands into one location and being done with it.
So I'm guilty of shopping there. And I FEEL guilty. I feel bad that I'm supporting such an awful corporate culture. I feel angry that I don't have better choices for groceries and other items in the town I live in. I am disturbed that most of the items I buy there are made in a sweat shop on the other side of the world. I don't want to have such far-reaching consequences lumped on my hurried-up need for milk, toys, and trash bags.
I don't have an answer, I'm just venting. I am still going to make a choice to shop elsewhere as often as possible, and to avoid the big box stores as much as I reasonably can. I'm hoping that if there are enough of people out there like me doing at least a portion of their shopping elsewhere, that the big corporations will realize they ARE accountable to us to be responsible citizens. Maybe I'm dreaming....maybe I'm just fantasizing at this point....dreaming my dreamy dreams.
I can always hope, though.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
China angst
I'm not the only one who really starting to get mad about this....(from MSNBC)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21825517/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21825517/
Sunday, November 18, 2007
of Chinese lights, and Indonesian colanders
Exactly WHAT do we manufacture in this country anymore? I have been making a lot of purchases in the last few days, mostly because we are in the throes of remodeling the kitchen and kids' bath, and as The Reenactor is like a man possessed about getting the job done, I'm all for making those runs to the big box stores for purchases as quickly as we need them. And I'm quickly realizing that I'm buying almost nothing made in this country.
This all started with a bonfire last week. We were burning the cartons from the kitchen cabinets we had installed the weekend before (those WERE made in the U.S.), and we decided to pitch in the remaining two broken cabinets from the old kitchen that had been hillbilly-ing up our front porch. As these burned quite nicely we decided that since the vanity in the kids' bathroom was broken as well, and we had been intending to replace it anyway, we went in, unhooked it from the wall and plumbing (I'm using the Royal "we" here....I didn't do any of that...the Reenactor did) and by golly, that went in the fire too. After that we realized we had pretty much commited ourselves to remodeling the bathroom at this point.
So anyway....back to manufacturing. In the last 48 hours I have purchased a ready-to-install vanity, lights, flooring, and various other products needed to get this done. I also made a side trip to a housewares store to buy some drawer organizers for my new cabinet drawers. The cool bamboo (renewable resource!) wood drawer divider I bought was made in Indonesia, as was the new colander I bought. I didn't search through every bin at the home improvement store, but I can pretty much guarantee that none of the lights I looked at were made in the US. I saw "made in China" on every box I picked up. Same thing for the other fixtures we've purchased.
Here's the thing.... I would actually BUY American-made products if they were available, and if the price difference wasn't grosssly unreasonable. It is the same choice I make when I seek out organic products. The more I have available to me, the more I will purchase.
Oh and now we have a toilet on our front porch. It adds to the overall ambiance of the place, I must say. And if any of you come to visit be aware that you might be greeted by a gap-toothed kid with no shoes on playing a banjo. And that would be T1.
This all started with a bonfire last week. We were burning the cartons from the kitchen cabinets we had installed the weekend before (those WERE made in the U.S.), and we decided to pitch in the remaining two broken cabinets from the old kitchen that had been hillbilly-ing up our front porch. As these burned quite nicely we decided that since the vanity in the kids' bathroom was broken as well, and we had been intending to replace it anyway, we went in, unhooked it from the wall and plumbing (I'm using the Royal "we" here....I didn't do any of that...the Reenactor did) and by golly, that went in the fire too. After that we realized we had pretty much commited ourselves to remodeling the bathroom at this point.
So anyway....back to manufacturing. In the last 48 hours I have purchased a ready-to-install vanity, lights, flooring, and various other products needed to get this done. I also made a side trip to a housewares store to buy some drawer organizers for my new cabinet drawers. The cool bamboo (renewable resource!) wood drawer divider I bought was made in Indonesia, as was the new colander I bought. I didn't search through every bin at the home improvement store, but I can pretty much guarantee that none of the lights I looked at were made in the US. I saw "made in China" on every box I picked up. Same thing for the other fixtures we've purchased.
Here's the thing.... I would actually BUY American-made products if they were available, and if the price difference wasn't grosssly unreasonable. It is the same choice I make when I seek out organic products. The more I have available to me, the more I will purchase.
Oh and now we have a toilet on our front porch. It adds to the overall ambiance of the place, I must say. And if any of you come to visit be aware that you might be greeted by a gap-toothed kid with no shoes on playing a banjo. And that would be T1.
Friday, November 9, 2007
and furthermore
Just to give you an idea of their editorial integrity, a week ago they published an opinion piece that mocked evolutionary biology.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
As long as they can make a buck
I make it a point to not purchase my local newspaper. This is because it is poorly written, poorly edited, and pretty much a joke in the local community--especially for those of us who have lived somewhere else and realize what an asset a decent newspaper can be to a community. On top of this, the very wealthy family who own not only the local newspaper, but the local television station as well (and maybe a radio station or two?) are decidedly "right" in their politics. The newspaper is something of a print version of "Faux" News--pretty much unfair and unbalanced. I see no reason to give these people a dime.
Nevertheless, I do "read" their online version occasionally. You have to pay them to read the full stories...they have a paid online subscription, which I don't pay. Mostly I just a glance at the headlines to see if there is something of stunning importance locally I need to know. The irony here is that if there were, this newspaper probably wouldn't carry it, or would get the facts wrong.
One day a couple of months ago I did buy a newstand copy out of boredom while I was waiting for T1 and T2 at school. That particular day the editorial "opinion" was that global warming was a vast conspiracy made up by thousands of scientists and Al Gore, and that they (the editors) chose to believe the one "NASA" scientist* who says it is not only all a bunch of hoopla, but if we try to fight it we could actually make things worse. Kid ya not. I could literally feel the veins in my brain starting to snap and fizzle reading this editorial.
So in the last couple of days in my early morning checking of my online papers (I check three or four different newspapers online each morning) I noticed that the banner advertisement at the top of the local paper's website is a "fight global warming..learn how" ad. What the? Huh? I thought that was all a bunch of made up stuff? It is a legit ad...sponsored by the AdCouncil and the Environmental Defense Fund. So the message here is that even though your editors don't "believe" in global warming, they'll take money from an advertiser who is trying to prevent it?
I have a word for them, and it sort of rhymes with "mustard."
* The "NASA" scientist quoted in their editorial has ties to the oil industry. I guess they didn't bother to google him before they got all lathered up about how informed his opinion was.
Nevertheless, I do "read" their online version occasionally. You have to pay them to read the full stories...they have a paid online subscription, which I don't pay. Mostly I just a glance at the headlines to see if there is something of stunning importance locally I need to know. The irony here is that if there were, this newspaper probably wouldn't carry it, or would get the facts wrong.
One day a couple of months ago I did buy a newstand copy out of boredom while I was waiting for T1 and T2 at school. That particular day the editorial "opinion" was that global warming was a vast conspiracy made up by thousands of scientists and Al Gore, and that they (the editors) chose to believe the one "NASA" scientist* who says it is not only all a bunch of hoopla, but if we try to fight it we could actually make things worse. Kid ya not. I could literally feel the veins in my brain starting to snap and fizzle reading this editorial.
So in the last couple of days in my early morning checking of my online papers (I check three or four different newspapers online each morning) I noticed that the banner advertisement at the top of the local paper's website is a "fight global warming..learn how" ad. What the? Huh? I thought that was all a bunch of made up stuff? It is a legit ad...sponsored by the AdCouncil and the Environmental Defense Fund. So the message here is that even though your editors don't "believe" in global warming, they'll take money from an advertiser who is trying to prevent it?
I have a word for them, and it sort of rhymes with "mustard."
* The "NASA" scientist quoted in their editorial has ties to the oil industry. I guess they didn't bother to google him before they got all lathered up about how informed his opinion was.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)